See all the maintenance and tracking of physical portions of my adult life are fine. I have plenty of space to remember what devices need what servicing or care, to pay attention to changes in performance or observe wear.
But the cultural and societal stuff is like voodoo magic to me. Surplus cash in escrow, down deposits, and HELOCs, heck even cultural gossip as a standard of conversation. Nah doesn’t do anything for me.
Ask me to manage my physical existence and I can do so indefinitely without complaints. It’s the imaginary adult stuff that is beyond me.
Best thing not to have a coffee machine then.
My choice to go with instant coffee is paying dividends!
Instant coffee is actually really good once you figure out that the directions lie to you and you have to rehydrate it first.
But my body is 60% water!
Please explain, I wish to yield a better return on investment of my time and effort when dealing with coffee
Instant coffee with a fancy creamer is underrated
Get a french press or clever dripper. Much better coffee, and with the clever, much less mess.
I use a French press. It really is super nice because all the coffee can mix with water then you press it down to filter it. No need for a funnel and wasteful filter paper.
This is where lasting relationships and divorce enter the building. Can you, will you deal with the coffee pot? Or do you pray, with every task, that they take care of it first? Is your other half taking care of it while you feel relief, far too often? Are you sick of taking care of it while your other half is checks other room watching YouTube and scrolling Lemmy?
Is it balanced? Or is it a question of how long until imbalance breaks things?
Adulting is tiring. Adulting is also a key to relationship maintenance.
We take the opposite approach: never assume your spouse is going to deal with it; see a problem, deal with it yourself.
Our marriage is still a mess, but it’s a mess that’s not breaking up any time soon. Mostly we both need to stop drinking.
That tactic tends to breed resentment (from both sides) when one person starts to get better at noticing problems. You might get lucky and stay balanced, but you’ll probably have to actually talk about that some day.
That’s fair, and I was oversimplifying a bit; there are definitely things that are specific to her or me, that we’ve either talked about, or settled into a natural division of labour.
Dishes? Yeah that’s both of us. Often she ends up loading the dishwasher, I end up emptying it, but not always. Litter box? That’s a me problem, she can’t handle the smell. Weeding the garden? That’s a her problem, I couldn’t give a fuck
I am still struggling with laundry, fr
Pro-tip - newer HE detergents are very concentrated. Use less than you think you need. A half cap is for highly stained items, we’re talking grass stains, blood, turmeric, etc. You only need a little for most loads. Maybe a quarter cap or less, or a quarter cup if using real measurements.
Also, if you’re using a newer HE washer, also be sure to enable the “extra rinse” on the cycle. They really, really suck at rinsing off detergent by default (especially if you use too much) and will bleach/fade your clothes in the dryer if not fully rinsed.
I thought everybody just sent into the trashcan every item that needed cleaning, and bought new ones weekly
I can live with all the petty little details of day to day life. Even the medical ones as you age.
Pro Tip: when you hit 50, you really need to start looking for that doctor you intend to die on. That doctor will have all those little details documented saving you a whole bunch of time.
The one thing I absolutely hate as someone who has been faking the whole adult thing for decades now, is having to figure out what’s for supper every damn day…
The saddest I’ve seen is a 70 yr old “from a different era” who had to now learn how to make macaroni with cheese for the first time in his life because his partner passed away.
That’s where I think shit has gone really wrong for way too long when trying to adult. Like prepare that you may have to live alone for at least a portion of your life and be the type of person you can stand to be around alone.
As a person is less than a handful of years away from being 70 myself, that person’s problem wasn’t in “being from a different era.” But rather deciding, whether conscious or not, to be passive in life and refusing to learn new things. A a vast number of all of you out there suffer from the same problem. Like expecting someone else to make the macaroni and cheese for you rather than learning how to do it yourself. Many people expect someone else to solve all their problems for them. And then are shocked and surprised when that doesn’t happen as they get older. I learned from my elders on how to solve my own problems. Sometimes by teaching, sometimes by letting me fail and then learning from fixing the problem I had created for myself.
They taught me everything from how to forage the forest, hunt, fish, raise livestock and butcher it, grow a garden, make soap from scratch, repair large and complex machines and many other skills that few can do these days. Most important of all, they taught me that learning never ends. And the day it does, you are dead.
Being alone with myself is dangerous for me because I prefer being alone these days. After a lifetime of being the cavalry coming over the hill to save the day, I’m burnt out and tired of it. I just want to spend my remaining time alone to heal from all the stupid I had to try and fix.
The one thing I absolutely hate as someone who has been faking the whole adult thing for decades now, is having to figure out what’s for supper every damn day…
Something that seems to work for us is to always have 2-3 oven-ready frozen meals (i.e. lasagna, shepherd’s pie, pizza) in the freezer for the days when we just can’t come up with something, 3-4 semi-planned meals (pick a protein, pick a veg, pick a starch and go), and maybe 1 or 2 specifically planned meals that require us to buy specific ingredients we wouldn’t normally have on hand, and usually those would be made either on the shopping day or the day after.
But the oven-ready meals are really the key part, it’s the emergency meal for when we just don’t have the mental energy to figure something out.
While I do have frozen meals ready to nuke at times, (soups and chili). It still requires malice aforethought to prepare and freeze such things. I really wish I didn’t need to be bothered.
When you learn minimalists weren’t actually about the looks but about keeping stupid adult responsibilities on the low.
Yes!
Wife was saying big, far away houses are getting cheaper and we should buy and retire there. Nope, the more space the bigger the mess she’ll do. Can’t literally take 2 steps further to drop whatever it’s in her hand. I have a dozen reading glasses spread through the house, usually accumulating at a few preferred places.
Case in point: I replaced my coffee machine with a chemex. So much easier to maintain.
I just eat the beans. Nothing to maintain
I eat the dirt the coffee grows in and suntan my butthole. No relation to the topic at hand, just thought you should know.
How do you keep your butt cheeks spread during the tanning process? Asking for a friend.
I have a glass buttplug with a handle of sorts that pushes the cheeks apart. It’s non UV resistant so does not interfere with the tanning. On the plus side, the interior of the rectum&anal cavity also get tanned with the glass transmitting the light.
Wouldn’t a clear, plastic, speculum oris, be better, and not run the change of curved/pointed glass focusing light in dangerous ways?
For anyone else who doesn’t know what a chemex is and can’t be arsed to google it:
I just drink instant coffee
V60 is even easier to clean
Can’t beat $6 melitta plastic cone. Unbreakable, and pour straight into cup so less things to wash.
Btw doesn’t v60 made of heavy, fragile ceramic make the water cold? Plastic is cheaper and better, change my mind.
https://shoponline.melitta.com/products/1-cup-pour-over-coffee-brew-cone-black
I use a plastic v60
I use a phin filter.
Yep, I mentioned to my mum a few times that I’m ‘baking’ in my microwave, which I know is terrible for this task. So, she’ll tell me I should be getting an oven, I should be getting an air fryer etc. etc… I always tell her, I don’t have the space for it, but really, I don’t want to be cleaning yet another appliance.
Wait til you hit 40-50.
You get a new responsibility: taking care of your fossilizing body.
Moisturizing after your shower to prevent dry itchy skin Gel in your mouth to prevent it from drying out during your sleep. Must go to bed at regular times or else you sleep like shitThat sweet spot when your kids start getting independent and your parents start getting dependent.
I think the gel thing is a portion of humanity (especially those who need a cpap) and if you don’t have one and you are getting dry mouth you should really look into a sleep test to make sure you’re not on the brink of death every hour as you sleep
Either that or get your nose checked as maybe there’s an issue there that is causing mouth breathing.
thoughts and prayers to the first world problem suffering ‘portion of humanity’ who must apply goo to their skin and mouth at their regular mandated bedtime
Lol. I know.
The most adult part of that sentence is the admittance you can’t just go out and buy coffee everyday either.
And where’s the list? Like if I could just find a list of like, “Congratulations on being a homeowner, do all this shit because if you don’t the repairs will eat you alive” it would be handy.
Just follow Martha Stewart’s website, you’ll find there are several thousand hours worth of chores you should be doing weekly!
It took us years to compile the list and it’s paid for itself many times over.
But to jump start the list in a future place, especially a traditional house, I’ve considered hiring a housing inspector or general contractor to give us a walkthrough of key maintenance timelines. Many things could be decades away but easy to forget until it’s a much bigger job. Notes from that interaction would essentially be the bones of “the list.”
My house has bones!? I’m definitely out of my depth…
You don’t refill the bone marrow? You’re fucked pal
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That’s a rough one. I know a good place to start is anything large you buy, make sure you read the maintenance portion of the manual and make a couple notes.
Then I start asking myself about important things like "how do I make sure the plumbing doesn’t get fucked? " or “how do I make sure the furnace doesn’t die?” and I start googling.
Not a great answer but it helps. I recently realized I didn’t give much of a thought to well pump maintenance and I’ve been down a massive rabbit hole on that one. I feel like you just pick one thing at a time and work on it and you learn as you go.
I just moved to a place with a well last year. I’m generally pretty handy but the whole well system is basically a black box to me at this point.
I’d ask you questions but frankly I’m not ready to absorb the information, but I know I’m gonna need to sooner or later. Probably sooner, it’s still the original pump from 1977.
Been there. Ask your oldest, grumpiest neighbor who they use. Also, if you’re somewhere cold and your well house doesn’t have a little heater, make sure to pick up a chicken brooder bulb or two.
Almost everything in your house has a manual. The furnace, the ac, the water heater, the water softener, the coffee maker, the fridge… they all have manuals. If the people before you weren’t responsible and you don’t have a packet of manuals somewhere, go through everything and download them. They all say exactly how to do maintenance for each thing, and how often.
Other than that it’s mostly looking around and making sure nothing is actively being eaten. Take a flashlight and look around in the attic and basement or crawl space or whatever your can’t normally see and make sure things aren’t moldy or rotting. If you catch things earlier it’s always cheaper and easier.
The real reason we have disposable products.
Clean your dishwasher filter.
Wipe the gasket on your laundry machines
This one got us the other day. My wife was panicking that the washer was leaking. Turns out never wiping the dog hair off the gasket cloggs the weeps holes and it starts to drip onto the floor
If equipped, clean out your detergent/softener dispensors. Most pop out, but some may need a screw or two removed.
Also, some washers have a sump filter that needs cleaning. (little panel at the bottom-left of the front on Samsungs)
I have a bi-monthly calendar reminder for the Samsung filter. 3 dogs means that thing is constantly packed with hair and we get the dreaded filter error code if it’s not cleaned regularly.
You’re not my mom, you can’t tell me what to do.
Well I am a mom, so I’ve learned it’s a lot less disgusting if you do it every month, but you don’t have to listen to me.
Editing to add: if any of the rest of you are also women, it’s a good idea to pick a day for the recurring calendar reminder that doesn’t align with the part of your monthly cycle when you’re already miserable and grossed out by the whole world, you’ll be crying into the kitchen sink. If it happens, because cycles are irregular, reschedule for one week ahead, when it won’t bother you at all. I guess the same goes for guys except the wild swings of your emotional cycles are less predictable.
Holy shit, if anyone ever does figure out how to predict my emotional cycles I want to hear about it.
I’m a guy, I’ll sign up too
Anyone selling snake oil around here? Shut up and take my money
I am not a woman, but my girlfriend is and she is tracking her cycle with an app, and it’s pretty accurate. We can see the mood changes that fits with her cycle.
It works for her because she is pretty regular, so I don’t for people with irregular cycle.
I know it’s gross, I do it often because I can see the difference in the cleanliness of the dishes.
I was just jesting.
Yes it was a good jest, no worries!
Clean your dryer vent
Relatively lucky in this respect. The apartment where I live has a company do this twice a year so at most all I have to do is every month or so disconnect it from the vent hose and suck it out with a vacuum.
Mine is literally under the deck. Along with a water spigot. I don’t think they made the best choices building this deck…
Former deck owner here: Decks were another way for our forefuckers to waste our futures in the 80’s.
THAT you should be doing every time you use the dryer, dishwasher is once a month type of thing
Not the trap. The vent.
Just googled it, uh oh
How often?
Once per fire.
“Ever” would be a lot more often than most people.
More importantly, clean your dishwasher vent.
If you didn’t know it had a vent, enjoy cleaning out that mold.
Wait what
I just cleaned the filter last week (rental) and it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned for centuries
You’re saying there’s another thing in there that’s just as dirty that I didn’t clean??
Dishwashers typically (meaning I guess there may be some that don’t) have a way for the warm moist air to vent out of it. Usually in the door, and typically “hidden” on the outside to match the aesthetic.
Inside however, there is usually a more obvious way for air to escape. On my current dishwasher for instance, it’s just a removable grate at the top of the door that sits flush with the door interior itself. It’s set up in such a way that air can get through it, but not water from the cleaning cycles (since that would obviously be quite detrimental to the kitchen overall.)
Now if you think about what I just described, a small dark area with plenty of warm moist air flowing through it each time you run your dishwasher, protected from the cleaning agents and harsh spray of water, you’ll likely come to the quick realization… this is the perfect place for unwanted things to grow.
Wat
Change your furnace air filter
The 20 dollar coffee machine that holds 12 cups doesn’t need descaling
it still does if you have hard enough water
Being a functional adult is essentially self parenting. It’s cheaper to clean and maintain than to constantly buy new or neglect issues until they snowball. Easier said than done, it’s definitely not always easy but worth the time.
Yeah, the only problem is, only now I’m starting to realize some things. I’m 53 - but hey, it’s never too late…
