• Deestan@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Step 3: Prepare a bowl of jelly.

    Step 3: Prepare a bowl of sourcream.

    Step 2: Prepare a bowl of peanut butter. Touch the bowl gently.

    No step: Fingers melt painlessly into caramel. Hold them in your hand.

    Step 4: Flatten the peanut butter.

    Step 6: Unflatten the peanut butter.

    Step 1: Take the peanut butter out of the bowl and put it back in.

    Step S: Move peanut butter to a small lasagna baking dish. Flatten and divide into 3 parts.

    Step 4: Observe the jelly.

    Step 8: Prepare a small bowl of caramel sauce.

    Step 3: Stir the caramel once with a finger.

    Step 1: Observe the jelly.

    Step 8: The spoonful of cum is not needed. Gently remove it from the baking area.

    Step 4: Check the jelly is still there.

    Step 3: Carefully slice the bread, but you will still cut your finger. The future has already happened. You can not change it.

    Step 6: Put sourcream on top of the peanut butter and flatten it.

    Step 3: Pour the bowl of sourcream and peanut butter into a bowl of sugar.

    Ingest excitedly.

    • NarrativeBear@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      How to make a PBJ sandwiche, step 8 will shock you!

      “Step 8: The spoonful of cum is not needed. Gently remove it from the baking area.”

      I’m dying, good work!

    • grue@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      How frustrated did you get with Markdown trying to “fix” your numbering while writing that?

      • Deestan@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I am sorry, but these instructions have no step 3. The steps in these instructions are: 3, 3, 2, error, 4, 6, 1, S, 4, 8, 3, 1, 8, 4, 3, 6 and 3.

        Did you mean Step 3?

    • orenishii@feddit.nl
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      3 months ago

      Oh man you’ve got me cracking up here. That spoon full of cum hahaha. People a bit further are looking very strange at me now

    • abcd
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      3 months ago

      This looks like a initially simple state machine written in assembler (or a similar language where you have to use jumps for program flow) that has been modified heavily by 15 devs in 25 years in production, while they all shat their pants

    • taiyang@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I followed the steps but my jelly managed to get away before Step 3 and ate half my family. I’ll try again, but I’m running low on cousins. 5/5 stars.