A guy came into the ER with a teacup up his ass.
The doctor asked how it happened.
The doctor said, in the writing where I was reading about this whole event: “What followed was a long and startling story that I immediately regretted asking for.”
yeah right, he was probably cleaning the kitchen, slipped and fell on it, just like everyone else.
That’s pretty much exactly what he said, he just took a long time to say it, which was what led to the deep, deep regret on the part of the doctor. He was dusting up on a ladder, drinking tea, totally naked, and then he fell, and oh no look what has happened now.
There’s a montage from Scrubs where a bunch of people claim “I fell on it” that ends in the last guy shrugging and saying, “I was bored.”
I respect the fuck out of the last guy.
I really don’t get it. The only answer that question needs is just look the doctor in the eye and ask, “do I really need to explain?”
I don’t know for sure, but I feel like the overwhelming majority of doctors would just nod and say “got it,” and then get on with their work.
See, this is why it’s important to buy teacups with flared bases.
It appears the market has spoken, thus you must clearly upgrade your ring cutting equipment.
That is, unless the poor sap acquired the titanium ring from Boeing or Airbus’ supplier. Then maybe you can use kindergarten stubby scissors.
Hospitals will generally have ring cutters like this:
They are hand powered and very cost effective for gold and silver rings. Diamond tipped cutters usually need something like a Dremel to power them. They look something like this:
.They are much more expensive compared to hand powered ones, and pose a higher risk to a patient so they would require additional training to use it, which is another extra cost.
Also, ummm, titanium gets hot. Like all metal gets hot when you cut it, that’s just how friction works.
But titanium is gummy.
When we cut steel it makes a nice clean chip until the tool is dull, then it’ll make ugly chips.
When we cut aluminum or copper, we have to use tools with fewer teeth so they don’t get clogged up with chips. This is fine because these materials are so soft and we can run cutting speeds so high that having fewer teeth isn’t a big deal.
But titanium is both gummy, in that it wants lots of space between cuts because it’ll clog up teeth, and very hard, in that it wants lots of teeth making smaller cuts.
It’s also a shit conductor. Aluminum and copper will whisk away heat. Titanium gets hot and stays that way.
So your titanium jewelry, wherever applied, that needs to be cut off of you, will need a diamond saw, which isn’t really a cutting tool, it’s an abrasive one. Meaning it works through aggressive, point blank friction.
My point is if you smash your titanium cock ring on, it’s going to not only require a very uncomfortable proximity to a power tool to remove it, it’s going to absolutely burn the fuck out of your dick.
Thank you for the details! I find the different properties of metals fascinating but rarely have the time to read up on it (which isn’t made easier by having to first read up on and understand a bunch of terminology and underlying concepts, which my ADHD just doesn’t have the patience for), so comments like yours giving a bit of insight are perfect.
Just want to add that we’re talking about a tool that can be used to remove rings stuck on any appendage, not just cocks.
Just cut off the penis, remove the ring and then reattach the penis. Do I have to do everyone’s job around here?
Every ring I’ve ever owned that was made out of titanium has shattered. Seems like you could just crack it with a pair of pliers or something.
Also, the ER probably wouldn’t need to resort to cutting a cock ring in the first place. It has no bones, just get some ice packs on it or worst case scenario do a controlled bleed on the distal portion.
I’m not a fan of how casually you used the phrase “controlled bleed”
It should never be done casually, I’d let a professional physician handle it if I were you.
If you wanna cut the circulation off to your wang, just hold it tighter. That way you can just let go and not need to go to the hospital.
Silicone is easy enough to remove.
Instructions unclear: Hand silicone caulked to my cock.
Try saying “caulked cock” 5 times fast
Come on. No one could do that
better than yo mama!Oh snap 😨
What if that’s their kink?
Pretty bad, because the medics and firefighters didnt concent to be part of it.
Oh cmon we are just joking here, no need to be soo seerious and goody two shoes
