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  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    24 hours ago

    currently in a hotel, hours away from my scheduled orchiectomy

    mostly feeling a mix of anxiety that I have deluded myself into this, that I’m about to commit to a mistake, and joy at the thought of not having testes anymore - all the ways I will finally be able to sit and walk and not feel discomfort, the freedom from that nauseating and disgusting feeling when they slap against my thigh, and of course a guarantee that the spectre of testosterone will never haunt my body again

          • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            3 hours ago

            thank you!! 🥰

            I was unexpectedly emotional afterwards, I think having testes to be removed and being a trans patient to medical staff really made me feel like I’ll never, ever be a woman. 😞

            That said, the absence I feel where the testes used to be is surprisingly euphoric. Before the operation I wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole idea of “absence” there or whether that would be affirming or euphoric for me, but I knew it would be much more practical for outfits and tucking, etc. I can’t stop feeling happy every time I feel that absence.

            • OldEggNewTricks@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              24 minutes ago

              Thanks for sharing! Don’t know yet whether I’ll go for orchi first or straight to SRS, but it’s good to hear about your experience. Hope the recovery is smooth.