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Not doing too well right now. Currently on winter break so I’m isolated. I think things will get better for me mentally after the break. Really want top surgery but I don’t know if my ability to get it will be impacted by all the stuff after January or not. At this point I probably need a break from the news and social media and to go on hikes. Just have to put one foot in front of the other.
I did finally get all of my legal documents updated (minus birth certificate BC my birth state won’t let me), so yay for that.
oof, sorry to hear your birth state won’t let you update it 😬
stepping away from the internet and going for hikes sounds like a solid plan - I like to sometimes have weekends where I turn off the router and try to live without the internet, lol
Payed some stuff off that’s been looming over me for a while, feels good. Got myself some stuff I’ve been wanting/needing too (little bit of furniture, a new jacket that blocks the wind better).
God I can’t wait to not have periods anymore
My renewed passport came in the mail, which was a relief. They have some weird hard plastic page in them now, too? I assume it’s some electronic verification thing, I don’t like it. It makes the whole book way too stiff.
That stiff plastic card does make it easier to paginate to the ID part of the passport, though!
My fibro symptoms have been very manageable thanks to better-regulated sleep.
With my therapist, I worked through some self-hate feelings regarding my singing voice (and obliquely related to gender).
A doctor called me back to talk with me about HRT. My sweet partner has been really supportive as I consider if this is something I’d want atm for my transition.
Lately, I’m feeling more creative like I haven’t felt since my 3rd year of high school.
There are promising signs of justice and liberation in the news this last week.
Three (and a bit) months into HRT, and seeing the effects more and more :3 Definitely starting to look more feminine, at least from certain angles. I’ve been trying to train myself to maintain a slight smile, rather than my default scowl which doesn’t look good at all. Voice is getting better but still wandering into husky / screechy a bit too often.
I just wish my (somewhat curly) hair would grow out of the awkward phase a bit faster. I suppose I could get regular trims and have it styled professionally, but I think I’d rather have the length sooner.
If I can step up my makeup game a bit, I might actually have a chance of passing soon! (Yeah, right…)
so exciting! 💞
Slow and not as productive as I would have liked and need to be! But overall can’t complain tbh!
So much work to do, trying to find a way to move to a safer state - not sure I will have enough time, coming up with all the various contingency plans creates stress. The news reminds me of how urgent this is, I am running out of time.
I managed to mail the forms to update my birth certificate. I wonder how long I will have to wait for the updated document. The county clerk told me they wouldn’t update the sex marker on my marriage certificate, but I have the notarized letters they require for updating the name. Still waiting for them to figure out what proof I have to provide for a sex change. They seem bewildered by the request and unmotivated to follow up when the people they have reached out to for guidance haven’t responded. It’s the kind of case where the discrimination is obvious, the sex marker is an optional part of the form and I don’t see any legal motivation for wringing hands about whether I can change it. They have refused to accept the updated sex marker on legal IDs like a passport.
Moving also means having to start over with my progress towards vaginoplasty, starting with finding a new surgeon and potentially having to travel much further for those appointments (currently about 2.5 hours drive away, but I am worried about having to fly or drive all day to get to a good surgeon - oh well, lots of people are in this position with me).
Spent the weekend doing construction repairs to fix water damage in preparation of moving. We were ghosted by renovation companies and have taken on the work ourselves. To be fair, I make it harder on myself by not owning any electric saws, so I am rip cutting flooring with a handsaw, which is exhausting and tedious. Still, I don’t want to buy a table saw and I ran out of time to go through the logistics of renting one. My whole body hurts. The work gives me a sense of control and autonomy, makes me feel one step closer to being ready to leave. So much work to do.
