The beeping sound computer monitors make as they render text. Wtf?

The horror movie character who searches a scary room by walking in and immediately looking intently up at the ceiling, while slowly turning around until he ends up backing into the dangerous thing he somehow didn’t notice.

The part in Drop Dead Fred where Elizabeth’s best friend’s house boat sinks and she gets rich off the insurance payout. That’s not how that works unfortunately.

When the computer hacker character clicks 8 keystrokes and says, “I’m in!”

Two people draw guns in each other’s faces point blank but nobody fires. Instead they have a tense conversation.

Talkin’ to you, Malcolm Reynolds and Saffron (or Yolanda or Bridget or whatever).

Enhance!

Anything gun related in most movies is probably wrong

Recently, I’ve been mindful of how long fights are in movies.

Sword fight? Fanning at each other, crossing and smacking swords. Maybe even walking around each other. I don’t think that’s how a real sword fight would look.

Fights where it’s mostly talking. Talking and talking. Nobody would fight like that.

Fist fights without a smack and dead. It’s fancy movement - only because of the shaky camera and cuts of course. Give me back Jackie Chan or smack them once and they fall over.

I also dislike noticing the wire-guided movements. Fast acceleration and you can see them balancing in the air lifted by wires. Wires removed after-the-fact, but it’s such unnatural movement.

And of course, the classic gunfight where nobody hits anything.

Or any monster chase or fight. If a giant monster chases you it’s faster and instant-kills you. But not in movies.

It’s certainly prevalent.

Quiet conversations on airplanes and dance floors as if there’s no background noise.

I love scenes where a character hotwires a car by:

• reaching under the steering wheel and pulling a panel off. It isn’t held on by fasteners or anything, it’s just like wedged in place.

• A bunch of loosely coiled wires tumbles out. In front are two thicker wires that are cut, stripped and tinned.

• The character strikes these two wires against each other like attempting to strike a match, mostly to make sparks.

• The sound of a car engine turning over plays.

• Climb in, shut the door, put it in gear and drive off.

The Iron fist show had me livid when the MC gets “voted” out by the board of the company the MC OWNS A MAJORITY OF!!

CPR. Doing 2-3 chest compressions, seconds apart, and then some mouth to mouth, followed by 2-3 more chest compressions. Or the needle into the heart thing. Or the shock a flatline thing. All of it. It’s just all wrong.

On Andromeda? I believe it was, a villain used the stereotypical twist the head to break the neck and they fall over dead bit. The character proceeded to be not dead and did the stereotypical express their love while dying in the protagonist’s arms bit, talking and moving their neck as if it wasn’t broken. And then died.

Two people are fighting and one gets control of the other. He then throws the person across the room instead of killing him.

“We got their hard drive!” *Holds up a power supply.

And even if it was a hard drive, what were you going to do with it? You went in there guns blazing with no warrant after you knocked on the wrong door. The evidentiary chain is well and truly broken at this point. Nothing from that scene would be able to be entered into evidence.

I don’t have a particular scene, but a here’s a funny conversation I had with an acquaintance:

Huh, this thing takes just 12 volts. Could run it in a car.

Wait, a car’s electricals are just 12 volts?

Yeah. The battery and most wiring around a car is 12 volts.

Wait… then what about those scenes in movies where they torture people with car batteries?

Yeah, those are fake.

looking into the distance as the realization dawns on him Those movie directors deserve jail time.