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If you don’t want to be executed, maybe just don’t be vaguely associated with the crime?
Ouch. The Onion: this is effectively just reporting on real events…
This is their section called “American Voices” where the story is a real, actual event that happened but commentated on by satirical representations of Americans.
And it’s always those same people
It’s not always the same three people shown here, but yeah, they pull from a very small pool of at least six fictional people.
It’s usually the same people in real life too.
Hey Missouri. Get fucked, you shithole state.