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Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I’m a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch emblem on a cattle’s hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well
Obviously fake. Texans don’t read or write.
My buddy likes to tell people the biggest exports from his hometown are illiteracy and methamphetamines.
I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town.
It took me until this part to recognize it.
“I own several kimonos, which I wear around town”
Well done. 10/10.
This pasta has been served before tho
Not mine, alas. Probably from some forgotten 4chan genius.
I understand these words separately, but together… 🤔
4chan has long been the fountainhead of the internet. All memes and pastas spring from there in some fashion or another. But so do other, darker things…
There was a stand up act about a guy who was learning German, and decided to listen to German speeches as he slept to help him absorb the language quicker. You can probably guess how that can backfire.
Why? Lemme just google the ‘most famous German speeches’ really quick…
https://youtube.com/watch?v=f7TboWvVERU
"Wenn Sie … vom Hauptbahnhof in München … mit zehn Minuten, ohne, dass Sie am Flughafen noch einchecken müssen, dann starten Sie im Grunde genommen am Flughafen … am … am Hauptbahnhof in München starten Sie Ihren Flug. Zehn Minuten. Schauen Sie sich mal die großen Flughäfen an, wenn Sie in Heathrow in London oder sonst wo, meine se … Charles de Gaulle äh in Frankreich oder in …äh… in … in…äh…in Rom.
Wenn Sie sich mal die Entfernungen ansehen, wenn Sie Frankfurt sich ansehen, dann werden Sie feststellen, dass zehn Minuten… Sie jederzeit locker in Frankfurt brauchen, um ihr Gate zu finden. Wenn Sie vom Flug … vom … vom Hauptbahnhof starten - Sie steigen in den Hauptbahnhof ein, Sie fahren mit dem Transrapid in zehn Minuten an den Flughafen in … an den Flughafen Franz Josef Strauß.
Dann starten Sie praktisch hier am Hauptbahnhof in München. Das bedeutet natürlich, dass der Hauptbahnhof im Grunde genommen näher an Bayern … an die bayerischen Städte heranwächst, weil das ja klar ist, weil auf dem Hauptbahnhof viele Linien aus Bayern zusammenlaufen."
(assisted) English Translation
"If you … from the main station in Munich … with ten minutes, without having to check in at the airport, then you basically start at the airport … at … at the main station in Munich, you start your flight. Ten minutes. Take a look at the big airports, if you’re at Heathrow in London or somewhere else, my se … Charles de Gaulle uh in France or in …uh… in … in…uh…in Rome.
If you look at the distances, if you look at Frankfurt, you’ll see that ten minutes… you’ll always take this much time in Frankfurt to find your gate. If you start from the flight … from … from the main station - you board the main station, you take the Transrapid to the airport in … to Franz Josef Strauß Airport.
Then you practically start here at Munich Central Station. Of course, this means that the main station is basically closer to Bavaria … to the Bavarian cities, because that’s obvious, because many lines from Bavaria converge at the main station."
Translator’s note: [sic]
I’m a native German and I don’t get it. What is the speaker talking about? Is this in favor of trains or planes???
Both, kinda. His point was (if O recall correctly) to promote a faster light rail track from Munich central station to the FJS Airport, also in Munich. The main benefit would be that you “start your flight on the train” because the transfer is seamless (in theory).
Almost, he advocated for building a ~37 km long maglev train (the Transrapid) between Munich main station and Munich airport.
The project never made it past planning because it would’ve cost billions with limited economic gain.
as always new technology is developed in germany and then they dont manage to apply it on scale
hyper incompetent local politician Stoiber made heaps of terrible long term damaging decisions. But advocating for the locally developed transrapid isn’t one. Wouldn’t it be cool if it actually existed? His legacy remains this speech and rampant privatisation of public infrastructure which resulted in quality decline across the board😎 sadly no real 10 minute maglev
his incoherent speech in written form reminds me of orange man tho
Yes! I completely forgot his name, but I love the skit!
I’m an american who lives in colombia. I learned spanish here. The locals like it because I’m the only gringo they know that doesn’t speak like a mexican or a spaniard. The bad thing is all my friends are street kids basically and I learned how to talk from them and watching gangster novellas. Needless to say my slang is a bit like the OP in the meme. I’ve gotten a few colombians to laugh instead of be frustrated or mad at me for my language because I dropped a phrase that they don’t usually hear from gringos.
My father learned Norwegian from my mother. Trouble is that she speaks a super rural dialect. When he had business partners from Norway over he tried talking to them but they couldn’t understand a word he was saying.
Luckily my mother isn’t Danish.
Something similar, years back when I was taking Norwegian classes, my teacher was telling us about a relative of hers. According to our teacher, it was pretty common for families with the means to do so to send their kids off to an English-language immersion camp over the summer around the time they were 14 or so. She said most of the people would go to camps in the UK and come back with something of a posh British accent, but her one relative’s parents dropped the ball on signing up and missed the chance to send her there, as all the spaces were booked by the time they checked. They looked around and found another immersion camp that was still accepting applications, and sent this girl off to perfect her English, in Arkansas. She came back with quite the accent, leaving people she spoke to in English baffled at how she wound up picking it up.
I live in sweden and know some swedish(still learning it) and when i was in iceland and asked for basic stuff they understood me and i understood them but when i go to denmark and ask for the toilet i dont understand a single word.
You mean like how Butcher from “the boys” sounds like a kiwi mimicking all the accents from a Guy Ritchie movie at the same time.
I really like how bad it is.
It really lends to the insincerity of the character.
Also his Dad had the exact same issue. And they both did English accents in LotR so I suspect they’re having fun with it!
There’s a guy on TikTok that has really funny experience to share because he learned japanese when he was living in basically a crack house with japanese thugs and he has a great japanese accent but it’s basically the hillbilly accent
“We only got old gangster movies, see? My dad, the old fink, didn’t have two pennies to rub together see? Me and my buddy got nipped yanking some movie films from the local five and dime, he sang like a bird, so here I am up the river in sing-sing.”
The race guys from better off dead who learned English by watching Howard cosell
Such a great movie.
There’s a young Russian virtuoso guitarist online who speaks English with a brummie accent.
I’m an idiot American. What is brummie?
Someone from Birmingham, a city in the middle of England.
Sorry, I’m the idiot for assuming it’s universally understood what a brummie is.
I want to say this was a joke in the 80s or 90s where immigrants would learn English from the likes of watching John Wayne movies.
Though, as an aside, I would love to meet more non-native English speakers who learned English by watching the likes of Pauline Shore.
There is a joke in The Good Place like this. One of the characters is describing her life “abandoned by my parents” “adopted by parents who died, yadda, yadda, yadda” “saved the human race, yadda, yadda, yadda”. She goes through a few of those and the penultimate thing she says is “learned english watching Seinfeld”.
I mean who doesn’t like a good “yada yada yada”. I feel like more people should do that; especially at work. 😏
I feel like more people should use yiddish because they have some great words like shmootz and chutzpah and schlep. They just sound great and the meanings are wordy in english so a single word translation is great.
You yada’d over the best part
All the british invasion bands of the 60s who sung as if they were from tenessee because they learned music from old 50s rock and roll records
I think it’s how you refer to yourself, but it’s been a while since I learned. Like there’s three or four versions of “I”, watashi, watakushi (very polite), and I forget the other two but one is extremely informal and possibly makes you sound like a delinquent.
Edit: ore and boku, can’t remember which is the informal one, somebody who knows more step in and add some extra context please.
俺？It’s generally used amongst friends in casual conversations, referring to yourself informally.
Probably that then! I study Chinese (Mandarin) now, so that’s a very unusual character to me. Apparently it has a similar meaning but it’s only used in regional dialects.
Sorry, I wrote it in kanji because I thought you were still studying Japanese. (the character is ore)
Why did you decide on switching to learning Mandarin?
Availability of native speakers local to me, and the fact I was initially attracted to Japanese by the characters and ended up essentially studying Chinese when researching their history. I may return to Japanese later, there’s certainly plenty of study materials.
Watashi is for adults and girls. Boku is for boys. Ore is for manly macho men.
Someone who learned Russian from movies about organized crime would speak a distinct dialect. Speaking that way to either law-abiding people or actual criminals would probably be a bad idea. Is Japanese like that too?
There’s definitely words only used by “tough guys” but I’ve never heard anyone call it a dialect. There are also words only used by anime characters. So if you learn Japanese through media, you’re probably going to be told “you sound like a tough guy/anime protagonist” eventually. However, most native Japanese speakers believe that their language is very complex and will forgive foreigners for misspeaking.
I knew a guy from Guinea Bissau and they learnt English by watching the Tweenies.
I’m assuming they were always ready to play?
