Stole it off of reddit

  • masterofn001@lemmy.ca
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    3 hours ago

    I used to be the guy that knew everyone, introducing my friends to others, and others to others.

    These days, I have maybe 2 friends.

    The good friends I once had believe everything they see on Facebook.

    I just couldn’t anymore.

  • nimpnin@sopuli.xyz
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    7 hours ago

    IDK man, the people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple. People with a lot of friends are often worse people, manipulative and/or have a transactional attitude to relationships

    • dingus@lemmy.world
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      22 minutes ago

      Yeah I’d like to think I’m not a bad person. I just have intense social anxiety. The only way I’ve made friends are when chatty people tend to talk to me and invite me to things. I’ve always appreciated when people do this, but then I just don’t retain the friendship when I or they have moved across the country or when we’ve moved into different life stages (ex: graduating from high school or college or changing jobs). I’m fortunate enough to have a friend now who is just nice and talks to me. Prior to that I didn’t have anyone for a while outside of my online friends. Some of us are really just terrified of other human beings is all.

      Part of this is that I have always an intense paranoia of appearing too clingy, so I never invite anyone else out to do things. Notice how one of the commenters said they broke off a friendship because the other person was too clingy. Well I just break it off first by never engaging because I don’t want them to think I’m too clingy or weird. Even now with the one friend I have I fear that I text too much or bother them too much or things like that. I try to limit myself and leave them alone but I never know where the line is between never speaking and between speaking too much.

      So I just chill alone I guess.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        1 hour ago

        Same. It was in the Tennessee suburbs so there was actually a lot of racism, but dude was like, Klan level racist, and that’s just rude.

    • doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works
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      5 hours ago

      Idk man, the people with no friends and the people with a lot of friends and even the people with a middle amount of friends seem to follow a standard distribution of personalities.

      Some awkward people and some charismatic people just suck. Some awkward people and some charismatic people are awesome. But most of all, people are just kinda shades of in-between.

    • danhab99@programming.dev
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      5 hours ago

      And when it’s not any of those cases then that person has a horrible pattern of behavior. I’ve learned this lesson way too hard.

  • solsangraal@lemmy.zip
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    7 hours ago

    not to brag, but i’ve graduated from not befriending friendless people to driving away friended people who try to be friends with me

    less people, less fewer drama

  • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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    9 hours ago

    Two weeks ago, I saw the loner at the table of an event. Went to go talk to them because they were alone for a while.

    In less than 10 minutes, they made a offensive joke that would have insulted half the people here, and complained about their living situation unprompted.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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        12 minutes ago

        The guy made a comment about women and minorities about if I was just trying to meet a DEI quota.

        He said this to me, a person of color, at a tech event where according to the census, 60% of Engineers are white.

    • Letstakealook@lemm.ee
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      7 hours ago

      Idk why in imagining them telling a version of the aristocrat’s and then saying, “So anyway, that’s my roommates.”

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    8 hours ago

    It’s the risk you take. I’ve met some of the most interesting people this way. If you go into it with an open mind and understand that usually it’s not going to work out, you’ll be better for it.

  • Emi@ani.social
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    7 hours ago

    Anxiety sucks, or is there different reasons why I don’t have irl friends?

    • BossDj@lemm.ee
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      3 hours ago

      Yeah I’m deleting this. Not comfortable with what I said based off a “few people I know”

  • BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    Happened to me a few years ago, started in a new office and one of the guys seemed cool so we talked more frequently. Ended up helping him get the apartment upstairs from me because his lease was expiring and carpooled to work. That’s when the clinginess started, couldn’t go half a day without him always texting or calling over stupid shit and borderline unhinged behaviors. I distanced myself real quick from him. The final straw was when he had asked what “village” my girlfriend was from in Brazil, then doubled down when I called him out for assuming she was from some uncontacted Amazonian tribe. “Well you havent been there yet so you don’t know lol” yeah ok fuck you, dude. Haven’t talked to him since, even though he still lives upstairs.

  • psmgx@lemmy.world
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    8 hours ago

    There are a lot of lonely people in the world. Too many of them deserve it.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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      7 hours ago

      I had a brilliant idea for a app during college. It connected self-identified lonely nerds with other self-identified lonely nerds. Like “Oh you like anime, here is this other guy, and here are five events you can attend together.” I was hoping for that Zuckerberg money if this app was a hit.

      I ran it through a test trial with a dozen pairings of them in my college campus to see if it had value.

      And yeah, a lot of the feedback was that the other person was kind of annoying/intolerable. Which was funny when both of them said that about each other.