Because you said it’s objectifying yourself? And that’s not a good thing? And saying you’re not that interested in romance is very different from “I would rather be alone than being with a person who just finds my body good enough“. That means you’re interested, as long as the other person finds your body very attractive.
Again, define “not attractive”. Because ugly and fat characters are almost always made fun of. If “not ugly, but not gorgeous” characters count as “not attractive” I can find a lot of female ones too.
I feel like you really try to twist what my point is or I am not good at explaining it in English. When you have been told your whole life that all you have as value is how physically attractive you are, the way you approach relationships is different.
While a man perhaps can still believe the other person likes them, even though they only find their body ok or good enough, for many women this is much harder. That has a lot of consequences for our society, including the difference in behaviour in online dating apps, why women are less likely to buy sex, dead bedrooms, etc.
It’s just a matter of what feels worse for me. And for me it feels much worse to be with a man who settled for me, than to be single.
Regarding representation in media, I won’t argue with someone who seriously tries to say female characters have a diverse representation just as male characters. That’s frankly a ridiculous take. Arguing with someone who seems to live in a different reality doesn’t make sense.
It’s just a matter of what feels worse for me. And for me it feels much worse to be with a man who settled for me, than to be single.
I’m not talking about “settling for”, I’m talking about someone loving you for your personality and not really caring too much about how attractive you are. Isn’t knowing your partner loves you for who you are and not for how you look like a better situation? Again, relationships are something that’s ideally supposed to last for decades, a beautiful body isn’t.
Regarding representation in media, I won’t argue with someone who seriously tries to say female characters have a diverse representation just as male characters. That’s frankly a ridiculous take. Arguing with someone who seems to live in a different reality doesn’t make sense.
There’s a lot of beautiful men and women in media, and there’s a lot of average-looking men and women in media. I already explained why I think there’s way more “ugly” males than females but you’re saying it isn’t true because there’s plenty of male characters that “aren’t attractive” and aren’t made fun of, so I asked for your definition of “not attractive”, as if you mean definitely-less-than-average I really can’t think of many.
Isn’t knowing your partner loves you for who you are and not for how you look like a better situation?
In my experience such men do not exist. I know rationally they do, but the chance of meeting one seems so rare to me it’s easier to give up looking for them.
You have to understand, starting from about the age of 13 men have been hitting on me, including those who were married. I watched friends who I thought were amazing and loyal people betray their girlfriends or wives when they got a shot with a “prettier” woman. Not even talking about the situations with my own boyfriends in the past, falling for another woman because she was visually more to their taste or they were nitpicking my body.
I have seen how different my father treats his much younger girlfriend versus how he treated my own mother. I see how one of my brothers treats his new younger girlfriend versus my sister-in-law. And in both cases it’s definitely not about character. Etc. etc. I don’t think this is a unique experience of me but shared with many.
there’s a lot of average-looking men and women in media
It’s beyond me how anyone can watch movies, anime, video games or anything really and arrive at the conclusions you do. There are plenty of average looking men in media and especially diverse looking men. Women are shown much less in screen-time and when they are shown, in the majority of cases, they are of a similar type that fits current beauty standards.
Why would I fight it though? I don’t see it as a necessity to have a romantic relationship with someone.
There are plenty of examples where the male character is not attractive and is also not made fun of.
Because you said it’s objectifying yourself? And that’s not a good thing? And saying you’re not that interested in romance is very different from “I would rather be alone than being with a person who just finds my body good enough“. That means you’re interested, as long as the other person finds your body very attractive.
Again, define “not attractive”. Because ugly and fat characters are almost always made fun of. If “not ugly, but not gorgeous” characters count as “not attractive” I can find a lot of female ones too.
I feel like you really try to twist what my point is or I am not good at explaining it in English. When you have been told your whole life that all you have as value is how physically attractive you are, the way you approach relationships is different.
While a man perhaps can still believe the other person likes them, even though they only find their body ok or good enough, for many women this is much harder. That has a lot of consequences for our society, including the difference in behaviour in online dating apps, why women are less likely to buy sex, dead bedrooms, etc.
It’s just a matter of what feels worse for me. And for me it feels much worse to be with a man who settled for me, than to be single.
Regarding representation in media, I won’t argue with someone who seriously tries to say female characters have a diverse representation just as male characters. That’s frankly a ridiculous take. Arguing with someone who seems to live in a different reality doesn’t make sense.
I’m not talking about “settling for”, I’m talking about someone loving you for your personality and not really caring too much about how attractive you are. Isn’t knowing your partner loves you for who you are and not for how you look like a better situation? Again, relationships are something that’s ideally supposed to last for decades, a beautiful body isn’t.
There’s a lot of beautiful men and women in media, and there’s a lot of average-looking men and women in media. I already explained why I think there’s way more “ugly” males than females but you’re saying it isn’t true because there’s plenty of male characters that “aren’t attractive” and aren’t made fun of, so I asked for your definition of “not attractive”, as if you mean definitely-less-than-average I really can’t think of many.
In my experience such men do not exist. I know rationally they do, but the chance of meeting one seems so rare to me it’s easier to give up looking for them.
You have to understand, starting from about the age of 13 men have been hitting on me, including those who were married. I watched friends who I thought were amazing and loyal people betray their girlfriends or wives when they got a shot with a “prettier” woman. Not even talking about the situations with my own boyfriends in the past, falling for another woman because she was visually more to their taste or they were nitpicking my body.
I have seen how different my father treats his much younger girlfriend versus how he treated my own mother. I see how one of my brothers treats his new younger girlfriend versus my sister-in-law. And in both cases it’s definitely not about character. Etc. etc. I don’t think this is a unique experience of me but shared with many.
It’s beyond me how anyone can watch movies, anime, video games or anything really and arrive at the conclusions you do. There are plenty of average looking men in media and especially diverse looking men. Women are shown much less in screen-time and when they are shown, in the majority of cases, they are of a similar type that fits current beauty standards.