That ended with me finally explaining to him how the way he and my mother treated me as a child, with undiagnosed (and really not even conceptually understood at the time) ADHD caused me lasting trauma that persists to this day. I’m a 45 year old man, and I cried.
Meanwhile I have done my best with my kid. My best obviously wasn’t good enough. Even a psych degree did not prepare me, and I still feel like that talk is headed my way in a decade or two. ADHD is a fucking nightmare.
I saw my own parents trying so hard with me and my siblings: to be better than their parents, and more sensitive than the society around us. They succeeded in being better than their origins, but still fucked us up in their own unique way.
I think we can only expect our parents to love us and to try their best, given the cards they were dealt.
It can take some processing to get to that realisation though. I hope your kid sees that you love them and were trying your best.