Monkeys have both force and accuracy when pelting humans with feces.

This is just inaccurate.

We invented the flame thrower. I know George Carlin did the bit best but… Imagine explaining that to a group of aliens.

“You… you throw what now?”

“Flames, bro.”

“For what purpose…?”

“Well, We had these people called Nazis and they liked to hide in concrete fortifications so we figured the best way to make them not be in there would be to fill it with fire.”

“Does that not harm these ‘nazis’?”

“Oh yeah, it harms them. That was like, a bonus.”

“Well, It was nice meeting you. Goodbye forever.”