Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
I think you alone might need some counseling. Because that is not healthy. Just enjoy the fact that your partner invests time, thought and energy in you by showing you stuff.
There is nothing unhealthy about being annoyed when someone forces you to always come to them no matter what it is about again and again and again, instead of at least sometimes actively coming to you when they want to interact.
And she should ignore the obnoxious way he chooses to do it? What other things you propose sje should ignore?
How is it obnoxious to say “hey. Come here”?
Because she’s not a dog, and he doesn’t get to issue commands to her.
Even if it was “Hey, can I show you something?” that would be a bit better - it’s asking for her attention and presence rather than demanding it.
She still has the right to say “no”.
People have a tendency to “want to be nice”. If it’s not too demanding, we usually follow requests. You may be different (I say this without judgement), but most people don’t like to not follow request. Hence the “come here” feels like an order, even though, on the surface it isn’t.
It’s literally the opposite. The partner doesn’t even want to spend the effort to verbalize what it is they want to show. Instead, they ask OP to invest time and energy to “come here” for dubious returns. They’re not doing it for OP, but for the recognition they expect for “showing them stuff”.
Why wouldn’t you want to see the stuff that the person you like wants to show you? If you don’t want to go why don’t you just say “no”? Your partner isn’t a villain for wanting to show you stuff. They either wants to make your day a bit better, share something they like with you or they might need help with something.
Because I really don’t get why you have to be anxious about “going over there”.
How could OP decide when they don’t even know why they’re supposed to go?
Because OP has a life of their own? They need to stop whatever they were doing, physically get up, stare at whatever it is they’re supposed to stare at, and retreat again. OP isn’t a dog you can call to attention whenever you feel like it. How would you like it if I called you across the apartment repeatedly for no reason?
If the partner wants to show OP something, why don’t they get up? Why does OP have to expend the effort?