Where does “it used to work, but now it doesn’t, and I don’t understand how it could ever have worked” fit in?

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Uggh, those standards are so bad. I hope you are somewhat comfortable with your current setup.

Started by going through the official system, went diy after they went from treating me bad to horrible. And it honestly gave me a lot of confidence to not feel like I depend on those assholes anymore, even if I go back later. It still broke me a bit that I no longer trust doctors.

Maybe you can get a new assessment with a different doctor, if you still want that?

If you can afford it, it sounds like going to a therapist to unravel your feelings and possible trauma could be worth it. A good one will not tell you if you are trans, just help you along the way. If you can’t then some lgbt groups offer help to questioning people too.

You don’t have to rush it just because the vial might expire. Do it on your own time, experiment with other things (thought experiments, clothes…) if jumping to hormones is too much. Remember that it’s not a magic juice that instantly turns you girly, you can always stop if you feel weird on it.

Also, do you trust her this much? I’m a trans woman on DIY but I’m getting mine from a source I’ve seen other buy from and talk good about. You also need to spend some time researching doses and what blood tests to do first too.

I (mtf) bought a couple of summer dresses online which is a huge step because I haven’t allowed myself this kind of femininity yet, and now that they arrived I feel awesome instead of shameful!

Now I just need to figure out if I actually like them and how well they fit, I’m kinda funny sized in a way most fem clothes are not intended…

People here are apparently either foss neckbeards or transfems/femboys, and they are all valid.

Trans dev here, I hear that hacker spaces aren’t bad places to look. I wouldn’t know though, too shy to actually show up -.-