ALQ

I remember reading excerpts of the bible in one of my high school English classes a couple decades ago. It was basically part of a unit on fictional storytelling via religion. I’d be okay with that being the requirement.

Each hand pets the ones on the sides; then kisses to the middle. Not as good as having three hands, but it works.

When I was a young kid, I had a cat that was front-declawed (this was before it was well known that it’s an abusive practice - my folks didn’t know better at the time). Because he couldn’t shred the paper with his claws, he showed his spite by chewing up the roll so it looked like he’d clawed it. Didn’t matter which direction the roll was.

I loved that cat. He was so smart.

Tell Gerry to m(e)ander his way out so the rest of us can have a turn in the gay room.

I like to think half of the last letter is cut off and it’s “free doom,” which is, disgustingly, what kids in Palestine are getting.

They must still be paying for that one.

Oh, be one, Kenobi. We don’t need three.

Right?! After a review like that, I want a pair.

She would almost certainly have threatened to contact her “solicitor,” not her “attorney,” if it were real, given she’s from/in the UK. Still a very entertaining read, though.