So, lets get this straight. Humans are going to die. Animals are going to die. Plants are going to die.

…so that corporations can make a few easier dollars before this whole planet burns in flames?

Yes, corporationS. Plural. What? You think google is the only one using AI?

Ok everybody. New plan. Everybody vote for me. Here’s my platform. Fuck EVERYBODY!!! Equally. No racism. No discrimination. You ALL get a middle finger to the face. In fact, fuck the donkey, fuck the elephant, my party emblem is a big middle finger. The fucking party. Don’t you want to join the fucking party? I know you want to join the fucking party. You know how hitler had the hitler salute? Well we have giving people the finger. Thats our partys gesture. In fact, do two middle fingers! Double up, mother fuckers!

And my campaign promise? I will fuck up this country at a slower rate than these two old geezers. Actually, first day in office, my first official act as president will be to give both of them the finger.

My second act will be bacon. Just…just bacon.

I call for him to drop out…of a boeing.

In Germany? I thought they got rid of those…like…a while ago.

American here. We have problems with our police too, but I’ll Britishize the language for you.

“Ya! The pigs are a bunch of right cunts, innit?”

Too bad the bridge didn’t collapse in 1995 while Art Modell was driving on it.

Yes I’m an old person from Cleveland, why do you ask?

Which time?

Edit: oh dammit. I now see someone else already made this joke. Ok, to make it up to you, I’ll tell a different joke.

So a woman in her Chicago high rise apartment was beating a rug with a broom on her balcony. Suddenly a big burst of wind blew her over the railing.

Now she’s falling from the 30th floor.

A man on the 25th floor sees this, catches her, and says “Wow, it must be my lucky day! A beautiful woman falls out of the sky and into my arms! Tell me young miss, do you suck dick?”

Outraged by this she screams “NO I DON’T SUCK DICK!!!”

So he drops her.

A man on the 20th floor sees her falling, and catches her. He says: Wow, it must be my lucky day! A beautiful woman falls out of the sky and into my arms! Tell me young miss, would you be willing to fuck me?"

Insulted by the idea she screams “NO I DON’T FUCK STRANGERS!!!”

So he drops her.

As she’s falling, she realizes she’s going to die, and in her final moments she prays. “Please god, just let ONE more person catch me! I promise to do any revolting thing they ask!”

And on the 15th floor, a woman catches her. Before her rescuer can say a word, the woman screams “I SUCK! I FUCK! I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!”

Revolted by this, the woman holding her says “Slut!”

And drops her.

TIL I’m a koala! I also feel mentally harmed if I have to deal with people all day, instead of sleeping 20 hours a day.

…or, maybe I’m just depressed?

Whats old is new again, because AMERICA NEVER FIXES ITS SHIT!!!

It’s the same reason I don’t get these people saying “I’d love to see what George Carlin would have said about the last 15 years…”

You already HEARD what he would say. The names and the faces may have changed, but the situations haven’t. The only “new” thing in that time was covid, which if he had made it to 2020, would have been the thing to kill him.

He might have done a zoom stand-up routine how he loves doing stand-up from his living room, so he doesn’t have to deal with travel, and dealing with people all day. Then he’d make a joke about how after his set is done he’s going to play with his dick and balls, and retorically ask the audience if they want him to leave his webcam on for it.

But outside of that we haven’t changed one bit.

Hot diggity thats some mighty fine word play!

Thats called a tax refund…I think…wait…

Sega does, what arcadedon’t.

And these days you get arrested for having a 6 inch replica of the master sword.

I wonder if thats where Aqua Teen Hunger Force got inspiration from.

“BORED!!! BORED!!! RIP OWN HEAD OFF!!! BLAARRGGHHH!!!”

I thought you were going to say you said this to the dishes you left soaking, right before you do the dishes.

The first toejam & earl? Or the second, completely different one?

Because I have…opinions…

What are you talking about? Every comment I see here is about altered beast…

Nothing wrong with that! Your parents got you what they could afford, and old games are still fun too.

I may be biased though. I bought a PS4 in 2015, and rarely played it. I bought a PS5 this year, and only have 2 games for it.

But my Switch? I literally made the guy on the Nintendo hotline say “Wow…I wasn’t expecting that many games.”

And honestly? I’m baffled by how I have so many games on my switch. Especially since they all seem to lean towards “These are older games from the 80s/90s, or emulate the style of those games.”

When you can shock a Nintendo represenitive, you know you have a problem.

stands up

Hi, I’m Lost_My_Mind, and I’m a Nintendoholic…

You eliminated the parts that explain why it’s being banned. Why can’t I snuggle the koalas???

Welsh: We need to make sure our politicians are pure to the people, and to their government.

America: The president can do no wrong, and cannot be held accountable for any wrong doing. Suck it, citizens! Suck our corporate bribed dicks!