That’s not a headline. That’s like the science community releasing a headline that Earth has been confirmed to be an oxygen rich environment.

Short answer: No.

Slightly longer answer: Nope.

Windows 11’s spying and bloat is what’s pushing me away from windows.

Julie Nolke has some thoughts on this…

Welp. Now I feel a fool!

Do you honestly think 16 year old me gave 2 shits about being fired? Or that an arbys manager would give 2 shits about customers? Have you BEEN to arbys???

Also, your logic doesn’t track. If you’re saying that McDonalds should fire this guy for snitching, that implies that McDonalds DOESN’T support snitching. That his actions were his own and do not represent the company who at that point would no longer employ him.

Whereas I knew MY manager at that time would have been high as hell at work, and loved to watch this woman yell and scream and be a karen decades before that term existed. I directed her to take her threat DIRECTLY to the front of house to put on a show everyone can see, because I knew I had no reason to give a shit.

And really, NO fast food worker should give a shit about the customers past a certain point. Be nice to those nice to you, but when they start bitching, they can fuck off with that.

Back to the topic at hand, the snitching would be their own personal actions, not the company.

This isn’t even humor at this point. I’m legitimately starting to think The Onion is in the midst of transitional changes to becoming a legitimate news outlet that just reports news.

Like this one doesn’t even seem absurd or funny. It just seems like the logical reaction people will have. This just comes off as a legit news report on an aburd situation. Rather than an absurd mocking news report on a realistically fake situatuation.

That tracks.

Did you say “Baked cakes”?

inserts joke about the office

…that explaination only raises MORE questions!

Well now hang on. Was it McDonalds the company that snitched, or some random person who happened to work at McDonalds? Because there’s a huge difference.

25 years ago when I worked at Arbys as a teenager, some lady started yelling at me because they discontinued her favorite menu item.

So I said “And you came saw right through my disguise. You see me mopping the bathroom, and you KNEW that’s the CEO of the company! Yes, there stands the man himself! The man with the power! As he pushes along his brown dirty mop water out of the bathrooms. You clearly saw all this and made the right call in putting me in my place. Ya caught me! T’was I who eliminated your beloved menu items!”

And she threatened to call the cops on me. So I said "Oh please, I’m begging you to call the cops, and tell them that a teenager was sarcastic and demeaning to you as he mopped the floor after having been berated for not serving a menu item that hasn’t existed for over 2 years. Which was before I even started working here. But when you do, put it on speakerphone, and let us all listen. I’m sure the entire staff, managers included, would LOVE to laugh at them hang up on you.

Breathe, breathe, relax. No need to get defensive. I was making a joke based on the fact that you said Atlanta is full of bad drivers because nobody is from Atlanta. Then followed that up by saying that you’ve only spent time in Atlanta. That’s the joke.

Everyone? I’m 41, and never have had a drivers liscense because I know if I do, EVERYBODY gonna die.

So you’re admitting to being a bad driver then.

I work at an airport at a job that as you’re exiting the plane, I’M the first person you see as you’re exiting the plane.

I’ve often made jokes, with no context given, that everyone would be better off if Atlanta were just put on a no-fly list. Even without context given I get upvotes for saying that.

Kinda like when I call George Clooney a smug bastard. People don’t question it. They just know it’s true and upvote without backstory needed.

Chris pratt DID quit his job and become a plumber! Didn’t you see the documentary “Super Mario Bros”?

Well maybe he gave her a small loan of 1 million dollars.

…wait, no. I’m confusing my rich assholes who were in the news for politics this past october.

The fuck??? She makes something like 500 million dollars PER CONCERT, and has a tour of like 8 months straight. She doesn’t roadie her own equipment. She doesn’t drive the bus. I assume she’s not even there for sound check hours before the event. She’s given a microphone, told “go sing for 3 hours” and then she’s back onto a tour bus that’s more lavish than most peoples homes. Meanwhile, 30-100 guys do backbreaking labor of assembling, and disassembling the sets, driving through the night in trucks, getting to the next cities venue at like 6am, unloading the truck, and assembling the set in the next city. All while she’s probably in her $2500 a night hotel room sleeping on a fluffy bed.

What part of that sounds working class?

…well now my ban makes more sense.