This is definitely one of those truths. In situations like this, it’s both right that someone should be their best happiest self…but it’s also true the other partner had their own expectations for a relationship, which might not be one where she’s partnered to someone taking their life in a wildly different direction than what was expected early in the relationship.

It’s a case where neither party is necessarily wrong, but things can end up hurting on both sides. Kind of like if other things were thought to be communicated early on, and is changed…like someone saying they’re child free then trying to have a baby, or someone saying they intend to focus on career then doing something to wildly impact finances of the couple. Changing one’s mind isn’t wrong, nor is growing and learning about yourself, it’s natural, but it can cause an incompatibly to pop up in a relationship that hurts or ends it, esp if it’s not talked about, and esp if it’s on a topic that greatly changes the nature of a relationship from the original agreement or assumptions and beliefs.

Dungeons and (bad) Dragons

What solution would you suggest if there’s shipping damage to contain the leaking cleaning fluid so it doesn’t damage any nearby objects?

What were the advantages of it for you? Over, say, a “traditional” lunch box?

This was a smaller moment, but similar to yours, OP, in that it revealed some unconscious thinking in my head.

But I was playing Crusader Kings II quite a few years back. And I basically had a King with the Genius trait and some other stuff I could pass down to his kids. I think I had somehow lucked into the Byzantine Empire or something, so I was basically seducing and inviting a bunch of lovers with other traits from all around the world (north and south, east and west) so I could spread Genius around. I wanted a smart council full of my bastards, heh.

So my genius slut-king has a bunch of kids. I’m naming them after my absolute favorite characters from books and such, because they’re part of my family and dynasty–so I’m giving them names that have a lot of personal “worth” to me.

Then I get to the kid in my dynasty who isn’t white, and I couldn’t figure out what name to give her. I had all these awesome names that I was using over and over through the generations in my dynasty, but somehow none that felt “right” for her. I tried and tried to choose a name, and none “fit”.

And after a while, it suddenly hit me in the face how SUBTLE racism can be. This was just a video game, but I had something that was “high worth” to me to give out, these favorite character names, and I was handing them out like candy until I got to the one kid and struggled, making all sorts of excuses why this not-white video game kid couldn’t get the name of this other character I really liked.

Now, if I was doing that in a frickin’ video game, imagine what people are doing with REAL LIFE things that are “high worth” to them. Hiring at jobs, giving gifts and presents, selling a house, etc.

And it wasn’t like I was going around in the game consciously picking which kids to screw over. (I mean, moreso than you usually do in Crusader Kings, the game where people glitch themselves into marrying their horses and creating witch covens with devil-babies so they can spread satanism across the world.) I ended up screwing this virtual kid over because I was going on this “gut feeling” that my really cool favorite-character names just somehow “weren’t right” for her, even though that frickin’ inbred cousin over there with a family tree like a wreath was proudly wearing it already.

So yeah. Learned a big lesson on how internal gut feelings influence you to do racist shit really subtly sometimes.

Yeah. My eyes got WIDE open about the “function” of third-party candidates in the US after I saw in hindsight (because isn’t hindsight always clearer?) Jill Stein’s role in a prior election. They’re basically there to shave off just enough votes from one of the major parties to tilt things one way or another. Easy for 3rd parties–no matter of they’re crazies OR if they actually have legit policy stances that really should be considered, such as climate issues–to be turned into agents of chaos. People working the USA’s political system from the outside work BOTH sides–the right and the left, pretending to be either one to sow discord as it suits their goals. The more division the better, for them.

I really want various ballot initiatives to succeed in changing how voting is done in the US, so you can safely vote for the candidate you actually want without handing the election to the worst candidate. Voting would be much invigorated if you could vote for someone with pride and enthusiasm instead of, “At least they’re not XYZ” which is what has to happen now working within the rules our system has for us.

Here and there, a few states have implemented better systems with various flavors of ranked choice and such for their state elections, so they’re not stuck in a two-party horror show for local elections at least, but there’s a lot of hard work that has to be done before that gains enough momentum across many states and towns and smaller localities in the US that it might be feasible to change the way voting is done on a federal level.