Developer for 30+ years, father of four.

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • I’m totally with you on that. My last wife would pick up and drop relationships at the drop of a hat. I didn’t care, as it never really affected me at all. I’m demisexual so I always take wayyyyy longer to get into relationships, but when I do, they tend to last a long time. As you said, it’s not a contest.


  • I’ve been in your shoes my friend. It is difficult when coming from a monogamous world trying to step into polyamory and letting the emotions that we’ve been trained our whole lives to listen to take over our thoughts and feelings.

    I’ve been polyamorous for 26 years now, and the one thing I’ve learned is that there is no way I can be useful or joyful with my partners if I don’t take care of myself first. The way I’ve been participating in polyarmory for the last 10 years or so with all my partners is that none of my relationships should affect any of my other relationships within certain mutually agreed bounds. So if I set some time aside for a partner, that time is only for that partner and what happens with that partner is only between us. And I expect the same from all of my partners as well.

    But I also don’t do envy or jealousy anymore either, so my advice might not really be applicable to you.