Terror Island writing tip: Specify that characters have names. This makes them more relatable. (That’s the title text for that comic.)

I’m imagining something like:

Player: I ask the NPC for his name.

GM: He tells you his name.

There’s also online fantasy name generators. Which basically just do that, but you don’t need to bother with tables.

Elppin is a valid Troll name.

I like this version better, though I admit it’s less relevant to the meme.

What annoys me is when they don’t have weapons have distinct special abilities, but they do have different damage dice. You end up with a situation where some weapons are just better than others, and if you think a greataxe fits your character better than a greatsword, you have to choose between dealing less damage, having a weapon that doesn’t fit your character, or houseruling that weapons that don’t have other differences deal the same damage and ignoring all those stats.

Depends on the magic. Fireball was used in the seventh through fourteenth centuries, so that’s not anachronistic. But if you want to do elemental transmutation, that wasn’t discovered until 1896. You could have it in steampunk.

That’s still way more imaginative than anything I can do.

D&D has hell. It used to be that the fastest-reproducing races were also evil, sending more and more people to hell.

Looking it up, the creators were Christian, so maybe they thought real life was even worse, but D&D was always intended as a crapsack world. If you want to play one that isn’t, great. Just be prepared to rewrite some major lore.

You can only make one object. I could understand if it was a big pot of soup, but I don’t see how this counts as one object.

Here’s how I’d use Fabricate to cook:

1. Fabricate plate mail.
2. Sell the plate mail.
3. Use the money to hire a chef.

Fail but barely? You hear one of them say he needs to use the chamber pot and head towards the door.

Back in 3.5, there were specific rules for dying of old age. 5e is less clear about it.

Wouldn’t he starve to death before dying of old age?