This guide was originally put together as a handout for a class on nonmonogamy aimed at men. Before finishing it, I decided to switch to a “tips” format instead, so I am publishing the …

geteilt von: https://slrpnk.net/post/2665683

A while ago I noticed a problem in my polyamorous social circles, namely that some of the guys just are not doing that well, in terms of finding partners, dating, and generally succeeding at nonmonogamy. In particular, the guys who are new to nonmonogamy seem to make a lot of blunders. Sometimes these are spectacular and result in those guys giving up and going back to monogamy, but other times they seem to take the form of a steady failure to date, or a quickly cycling through relationships. Of course, there are plenty of men who take well to nonmonogamy (myself included), espcially those who have been doing it for a long time. That said, longevity is no guarantee of success – some of the frustrated guys at my recent class on this subject had been polyamorous for over a decade but could still not get their groove on. My hope with the discussions below is that they will help other guys hopscotch past a lot of the conceptual traps that hold us back.

Archived Version

  • thorn@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    7 months ago

    TLDR; the non-monogomous community has a generally lower tolerance for the toxic social norms common among cis-het men. A man that finds himself impatient with his success in dating might consider that it makes sense for non-men to be cautious of all men, and he might need to do the work to recognize he might be the one that needs to learn what others expect of him to be found attractive.

  • Dislodge3233@feddit.deEnglish
    0·
    1 year ago

    This paper is aimed at men who are attracted to women, which covers both straight men and bisexual men’s interactions with women. It is somewhat useful for men who are attracted to men, and for women, though many of the things I say will not apply.

    I’m bi leaning gay, but I came out recently and turns out I enjoy sex with men more than women. In a strange twist of irony, I find I get more women when I look for men. I don’t date that much since I’ve got other family responsibilities, but the last two new women I slept with I “got” by talking about my interest in men.

    Weird and cool I guess, but I would rather date men. I just live in a homophobic area, so life is hard.