So I’m not sure how to define my sexuality. I only care because I have a hard time explaining it to others (men mostly women don’t care).
Basically about 2 years ago I came out as bisexual (50/50 attraction). I had a lot of sexual trauma and resolved it in therapy. I had a whore phase to explore myself, but I honestly don’t enjoy sex that much. I maybe cum 1-2/10 times, so mostly it’s been about pleasing my partners.
A couple months ago, I basically stopped dating because I kinda don’t care to. I find I get much more out of dance and hobbies. I still get horny, but after masturbating, I am back to not caring.
Sex just sounds remarkably unrewarding and too much effort. I like connecting with people, but dancing with someone is way less complicated than arranging sex for the same reward. Friends annoy me sometimes because they assume I’m just not having success.
Is this asexuality? I still sometimes like sex, just very rarely.
So part of my issue is these norms. As a man I’m supposed to be out conquering, so many men I talk to dismiss my feelings completely. It annoys me, so I end up being friends with women more.
Plus I can easily get sex if I want. I can walk into a gay/kink/bisexual sex party and get fucked left and right. But the cost-benefit ratio is off. Even at sex clubs where I get some of my best sexual experiences, the amount of pleasure I get simply doesn’t justify the effort. Sex in relationships has typically been worse than in parties/groups.
And yeah, I’m not distressed about my sexuality. I’m just annoyed with people (mostly men, but some women) who presume to know what I need to be happy (meaning sex).