Yeah, I’m happy just being an uncle.

I found that stage very boring cause they’re basically a slug and it’s the same cycle on repeat, was on parental leave and had way more time to myself than I did just working a normal job. Back to work toddler stage was the most financially draining because of daycare but the government reimbursement program made it very affordable. It’s definitely more fun when they’re able to communicate and have opinions and stuff, and never had a serious problem with behavioral issues. They just can’t regulate their emotions or know what they are really so you have to teach them all that.

I’d say for the most part the downsides I hear from younger people without kids are sort of based on naive anxieties that any new parent goes through. Financial concerns are legit although the US is notoriously bad for supporting new parents. We had 18 months fully paid parental leave to split for example. The real downsides are that it takes more intention and planning to do things, but there’s even an upside to that in that you condense a lot of what you enjoy and use the time way more effectively. It’s like well maybe that thing isn’t really that important, and this other thing really is important. It puts a microscope up to your daily life basically and I think that’s what causes the anxiety for people who envision what having kids is like.

It definitely shakes the snow globe of life up and I wouldn’t even say that’s a good thing for everyone, but also nobody is better or worse because of whether they have kids or not. I hate those remarks parents have sometimes like “oh they don’t have kids so you know” and you can feel that distain and jealousy in their voice.