Number 5 definitely.

Stanley wouldn’t try to get all chatty with me, and we’d both just do our crosswords in peace for the duration of the trip. Our only interaction will be a knowing nod as we deplane, non-verbally thanking each other for not talking to them.

Stanley!! Most relaxed flight of my life.

If you’re seated in position:

1. You’ll have Jim reaching over you and saying to Dwight: “I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you”
2. Andy will tell you of his latest sexual conquests, Gabe will try to match or one-up him with clearly fake stories
3. Could be interesting. Creed’s an odd one, and Kevin can be fun. Expect to come away with evidence of multiple crimes for one or both of them.
4. Me-ow! If you’re not having pictures of Angela’s cats shoved in your face, then you’ll be dealing with Angela being catty towards Pam. Also, Angela probably has at least 6 cats in her carry-on. Plan ahead, allergy-wise.
5. Best seat in the house. Stanley won’t bother you, and if you don’t bother him, you’ll have a nice peaceful flight.
6. You’re probably gonna see some stuff and likely be asked to join in. Even if you’re tempted, don’t. It’s a trap. Bob Vance Vance Refrigeration will kick your ass…afterwards.
7. You’re absolutely going to get something thrown at you. Michael will refuse to switch seats so you can hide from Hurricane Jan with Oscar. You also won’t be able to get any drinks because Jan caused the flight attendant to cut off the whole row (before that, she’d just take them from the FA but not pass them to you).
8. You’ll finally understand why people flip out and try to open the doors mid-flight.
9. The only silver lining of sitting next to Toby is he may strangle you so you don’t have to listen to Kelly and Ryan anymore.

9 is close to the front and will leave me alone. Same with 5, but that’s a lot more people to wait for getting off.

5. Stanley is going to sleep the whole time.