Everyone is different but based on my experience you should try to fill your days with new hobbies. If you can, invest money into it. Learn new skills. Do things you never thought about before. Have strong opinions. And most importantly be proud of yourself for all of that. You will hopefully start to like yourself and like being by yourself.
I never stopped feeling like an outcast but I did stop being sad about it. I don’t fit the norm but that can be a good thing.
Go out for coffee to the same place, at around the same time every day. Do not discount the value of superficial relationships, seeing the same people every day will help. It’s a start but a good one, and easy one.
Do you not have a job?
I have a job, but who talks to a depressed looking person? And when I’m using my fake happy-mask, there’s not much real connection going to be be built.
Worse with forcing myself to be in a place where I don’t even have a purpose that I can focus on to distract myself from my despair (and shame).
Thankyou for the response.
So part of the coffee shop advice is true. Even if you feel it’s superficial to start. There’s actually a lot to be said for “fake it until you make it” type socialization. Showing up regularly at the same place, be kind to the staff, learn their names, and little by little you’ll find you start recognizing other regulars and the you. It’s okay for connections to start out not super real or deep, it still works those social muscles out. After that it’s just time investment.
No, because, obviously I made it, everyone’s believing the story that I built by faking, except myself. I never allowed my true self to be seen
Edit: I’m arguing here, because I need to understand that I made it, I need to speak it, voice it and dare to let my true self be seen since I obviously made it. Get it? If I never hear that I made it, I’ll doubt forever that I made it
You accept that you are in a difficult situation with no great answers.
You focus on being good company for yourself and treating yourself like someone of value. Be kind and understanding to yourself and try to minimize negative self talk.
You open yourself to creating new connections with others, but without preconceived ideas of success or failure.
Thankyou. Simple and practical answer
Edit
intrusive thought
Why is it not okay for the world if I want to be a part of it as well?? Why am I not allowed to … also be?? I’m acceptable as in
Ya know, you're awesome, but please just stay "over there", don't sit or come too close to me yeah, okay? Thankyou 😬Or am I just fooling myself with this???
