Because I’d look like this:
Because it’s considered “lewd” and “indecent” when I do it and I’m not allowed within 500 yards of schools anymore.
Self-respect mostly (at least what’s left of it).
Beer belly
And my sagging balls.
Every single men’s top I’ve seen are too big…
The “Fire Island gay” look is not for me. (Aka Midriff-baring T-shirts and Nut-Hugger shorts.)
But maybe it could be if you “owned it”?
I love that they have a belt. Like, you gotta put your belt on even with cut-offs.
I don’t have a younger sister I have to share clothes with.
So true 🤣
Because those hunks never survived the movie.
Thankfully, other men.
I just realized that the examples in the meme leave out an important part of the ensemble: calf-high white tube socks with multicolor bands at the top.
If you’re gonna rock it, rock it all the way.
I don’t have those, so that. That stops me from doing that.
We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.
I’m good with my plain black t-shirt that’s long enough to serve as a dress because I’m fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I’m wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.
Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn’t swim.
Wow, there’s a lot to unpack there. Cheers mate.
I recently got a one shoulder top that I’m wearing at home, does that count?
No way, this is like wearing the red shirt in Star Trek.
The shape of my body.