I respect but also feel sorry for people who are sexually attracted to children, but manage to control themselves. They have to work extra hard constantly just to not be monsters, while the rest of us never even have to worry about that.
I respect people who […] manage to control themselves
That’s such a weird thing to say though.
Imagine you are in love with someone but they are not interested. Do you take pride in the fact you didn’t rape/groom them because you “managed to control yourself”?
We’re not animals. Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial for any decent human being.
Maybe it should be, but is it actually trivial? Addiction in general is a real thing, isn’t it? For someone with say an eating disorder, maintaining a healthy diet isn’t trivial at all. Paraphilias are different morally where they involve harming others and not just yourself and so it’s more important to not act on them, but I’m not sure that means it’s easier for a person with a paraphilia than it is for other sorts of people struggling with controlling their behavior.
IMO what it comes down to isn’t whether these people deserve sympathy though, the more important consideration is preventing abuse. To me what the OP image shows is that the “just kill 'em all” attitude is unhelpful bullshit leading to pedophiles and abusers hiding in plain sight. What would be better is a conditionally supportive community that knows what they are and keeps tabs on them well enough to make sure they stay away from kids.
Feeling sexually attracted is not the same as addiction. If it starts to feel like withdrawal from addiction you have something else going on as well (for example an actual sex addiction). Additionally, pedophiles aren’t necessarily exclusively attracted to children.
I do think they should have access to mental health care and they obviously shouldn’t be incarcerated or threatened with death. But having respect for them for not abusing children is taking it way too far.
I also don’t respect serial killers for every day they don’t murder someone, I don’t respect racists for every person they pass without punching them, etc.
Well this is certainly a thing that someone typed once. I’d counter that it’s not simply that people are innocently attracted to children and therefore deserve sympathy. I’d say there’s more involved in that attraction. You can’t reasonably engage in any romantic or sexual abuse encounter with a child without there being a totally lopsided power dynamic and a high degree of exploitation. I’d argue that for all such people this is what draws them to it. Within that context it’s not some innocent ‘miswiring’ of the brain but instead an individual that is completely unhealthy and mentally unwell that is entertaining the idea of grooming some child. That’s the part they are after.
I know there’s a movement to try and see pedophiles as anything but what they are and you can sit and have thought experiments about ‘the ones that act vs those that don’t’ but at the end of the day you are left with a deeply unwell individual that desperately needs inpatient psychiatric treatment, psychiatric medication, extensive counseling, and total separation from any children.
Well, you’d be wrong. Pedophilia is well studied. It’s attraction to children, and there’s a huge amount of variation in how that is expressed and how the psychology around it develops through a person’s life. Baselessly claiming that all people with pedophilia are just rapists who want easy prey is unhelpful nonsense.
After all, the word stems from the suffix “philia” which means tendency or affinity towards, as opposed to “phobia” which means aversion or separation from. Philia is used for a lot of words as a suffix for literally meaning affinity towards, like in the word “hydrophilic” or affinity towards (bearing) water, but it can also denote interest or attraction as in “audiophile” (interested in audio), “cynophile” (interested in or lover of canines/dogs), or “gynophile” (interested or loving of women).
Here’s the definition and further background about “pedophile”.
I respect but also feel sorry for people who are sexually attracted to children, but manage to control themselves. They have to work extra hard constantly just to not be monsters, while the rest of us never even have to worry about that.
That’s such a weird thing to say though.
Imagine you are in love with someone but they are not interested. Do you take pride in the fact you didn’t rape/groom them because you “managed to control yourself”?
We’re not animals. Controlling your sexual desires should be trivial for any decent human being.
Maybe it should be, but is it actually trivial? Addiction in general is a real thing, isn’t it? For someone with say an eating disorder, maintaining a healthy diet isn’t trivial at all. Paraphilias are different morally where they involve harming others and not just yourself and so it’s more important to not act on them, but I’m not sure that means it’s easier for a person with a paraphilia than it is for other sorts of people struggling with controlling their behavior.
IMO what it comes down to isn’t whether these people deserve sympathy though, the more important consideration is preventing abuse. To me what the OP image shows is that the “just kill 'em all” attitude is unhelpful bullshit leading to pedophiles and abusers hiding in plain sight. What would be better is a conditionally supportive community that knows what they are and keeps tabs on them well enough to make sure they stay away from kids.
Feeling sexually attracted is not the same as addiction. If it starts to feel like withdrawal from addiction you have something else going on as well (for example an actual sex addiction). Additionally, pedophiles aren’t necessarily exclusively attracted to children.
I do think they should have access to mental health care and they obviously shouldn’t be incarcerated or threatened with death. But having respect for them for not abusing children is taking it way too far.
I also don’t respect serial killers for every day they don’t murder someone, I don’t respect racists for every person they pass without punching them, etc.
Well this is certainly a thing that someone typed once. I’d counter that it’s not simply that people are innocently attracted to children and therefore deserve sympathy. I’d say there’s more involved in that attraction. You can’t reasonably engage in any romantic or sexual abuse encounter with a child without there being a totally lopsided power dynamic and a high degree of exploitation. I’d argue that for all such people this is what draws them to it. Within that context it’s not some innocent ‘miswiring’ of the brain but instead an individual that is completely unhealthy and mentally unwell that is entertaining the idea of grooming some child. That’s the part they are after.
I know there’s a movement to try and see pedophiles as anything but what they are and you can sit and have thought experiments about ‘the ones that act vs those that don’t’ but at the end of the day you are left with a deeply unwell individual that desperately needs inpatient psychiatric treatment, psychiatric medication, extensive counseling, and total separation from any children.
Well, you’d be wrong. Pedophilia is well studied. It’s attraction to children, and there’s a huge amount of variation in how that is expressed and how the psychology around it develops through a person’s life. Baselessly claiming that all people with pedophilia are just rapists who want easy prey is unhelpful nonsense.
After all, the word stems from the suffix “philia” which means tendency or affinity towards, as opposed to “phobia” which means aversion or separation from. Philia is used for a lot of words as a suffix for literally meaning affinity towards, like in the word “hydrophilic” or affinity towards (bearing) water, but it can also denote interest or attraction as in “audiophile” (interested in audio), “cynophile” (interested in or lover of canines/dogs), or “gynophile” (interested or loving of women).
Here’s the definition and further background about “pedophile”.