Bonus points if your boomer parent got a ND diagnosis in their 50s, yet still refuses to believe that neurodiversity was just as much a thing when they were young as when you were, it was just ignored harder, as they actively ignore your ND diagnosis that you finally got independent of them in your 20s or 30s.
My boomer mother has never been diagnosed as far as I know. . She is obviously on the autism spectrum towards what used to be called aspergers. Add in a violent streak, some narcissistic tendencies, religious extremism, and deeply ingrained racism to the mix to make it extra spicy.
I haven’t seen or spoken to her in more than a decade but I doubt anything has changed.
I’m in a similar boat (E: things were always worse with the parent who would never seek diagnosis), cutting contact was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself.
I don’t want the bonus points, I just want my mom to get the help she needs. But no… she’s stubborn, prideful, etc. And even though she’s a huge bigot and I want to punch her in the face, she’s still my mom.
Personally I realised that if being related meant so little to them to treat me the way they did, there’s no reason it should mean much to me, so I did what was healthiest for me for a change and cut contact. I wish you the best of luck getting her help (seriously), but you shouldn’t be suffering just because someone is related to you.
Bonus points if your boomer parent got a ND diagnosis in their 50s, yet still refuses to believe that neurodiversity was just as much a thing when they were young as when you were, it was just ignored harder, as they actively ignore your ND diagnosis that you finally got independent of them in your 20s or 30s.
My boomer mother has never been diagnosed as far as I know. . She is obviously on the autism spectrum towards what used to be called aspergers. Add in a violent streak, some narcissistic tendencies, religious extremism, and deeply ingrained racism to the mix to make it extra spicy.
I haven’t seen or spoken to her in more than a decade but I doubt anything has changed.
I’m in a similar boat (E: things were always worse with the parent who would never seek diagnosis), cutting contact was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself.
I don’t want the bonus points, I just want my mom to get the help she needs. But no… she’s stubborn, prideful, etc. And even though she’s a huge bigot and I want to punch her in the face, she’s still my mom.
Personally I realised that if being related meant so little to them to treat me the way they did, there’s no reason it should mean much to me, so I did what was healthiest for me for a change and cut contact. I wish you the best of luck getting her help (seriously), but you shouldn’t be suffering just because someone is related to you.
Same but grandma.