• TK420@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    To remind everyone, you are allowed to get a vasectomy for whatever reason you want. No one is forcing you to have children you don’t want, can’t afford, etc. If you’re told no, find a different fucking doctor.

    Also remember, children never fix a broken relationship.

  • StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Meh, it gets a bit unsettling and empty when you get into your 40s. At least it did for me. We had a kid (much) later in life and I’m glad we did. We had our DINK fun in our 30s, and I still long for those days sometimes. But having a kid is like filling a hole you didn’t realize you had. And there are moments of joy and bonding that are simply indescribable.

    Anyway, to each their own.

    • Holzkohlen@feddit.de
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      9 months ago

      Any siblings? Let them have kids and help out. I’ve got a niece and nephew and I love them to bits, but I’m still glad they are not mine. Anyways, being an uncle/aunt? Can recommend!

  • SpaghettiYeti@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    The worst part is your job thinking you can work infinite hours because you dont have a kid. Its a fucked up tax.

  • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I think the drive to have children is so illogical one might call it a mental illness. Why do you need a kid? “I dunno, it just made me feel better”. Why didn’t you adopt? “I dunno, just wanted my own”.

    • seth@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The adoption part really strikes a nerve with me, too. “My own,” is always how I’ve heard it and it’s so indicative of a purely self-centered reason for wanting children - it’s not about the children at all, it’s about the parent. But, that’s never what you’ll hear from a parent when they try to describe how selfless the ineffability of parental love is for their child: “I can’t explain it, you just have to be a parent to understand.” I don’t buy it, as there are countless unloved/unwanted children doomed to grow up in toxic or abusive environments, as well as many step-parents and adopted parents who clearly love their children as much as any biological parent.

      • kandoh@reddthat.com
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        9 months ago

        I think of it as more of a fear of death and passing on your own genetics as of way of soothing that fear.

        Totally devalues the kid as their own person though (common thing for parents to do).

        • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
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          9 months ago

          Unfortunately, that’s exactly my observation too. Some people don’t seem to value life itself, but only if it suits them.

    • TwoCubed@feddit.de
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      9 months ago

      It’s the most basic survival instinct maybe? Jesus what a dumb fucking comment, holy shit.

      • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        I am always flabbergasted by people trying to argue that having kids is illogical, selfish, unnatural, etc. Like, the fuck you think we’ve been doing as a species for millions of years? What ya think every other living being on earth is doing?

        People trying to reinvent the wheel and making something mundane unnecessarily complicated just annoy the shit out of me. No one is forcing anyone to have kids (at least in societies that don’t ban abortions). You don’t want them or don’t feel equipped to have them - no one cares. But yeah let’s make your own insecurities and traumas and whatever personal reasons you have into an ideology that promotes that creating new life is bad per se.

        Having kids is neither good nor bad. It is not selfish or altruistic. It just is. There is no need in overly moralizing it.

          • TwoCubed@feddit.de
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            9 months ago

            The preservation of our own species is irrational, got it. Fuck off, edge lord. Please don’t ever get kids.

            • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              What a weird insult rofl

              It’s like telling someone who doesn’t like drinking, “I hope you never have another beer!”

              • TwoCubed@feddit.de
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                9 months ago

                I’m guessing you’re in your early twenties and once you grow out of your edge lord phase, you might get the idea to procreate regardless of your bullshit opinions you have now. Unless you start over with school and take it seriously, you shouldn’t pass on your verbal diarrhea to children.

                • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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                  9 months ago

                  you might get the idea to procreate regardless of your bullshit opinions you have now.

                  Lol the arrogance. You just can’t fathom that other people think differently. You just assume anyone who doesn’t have the same weird subconscious drives as you is somehow defective. And when confronted with the illogical nature of what you believe, you get angry and defensive.

      • GladiusB@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Good! If you are in that same space at that time that is awesome. I find people don’t have the same attitude when it comes to that time.

        • Schorsch@feddit.de
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          9 months ago

          Yeah like getting children is the guarantee for having an adequately filled social calendar and like you can be absolutely sure your children will like your company when you’re 60…