In Introduction to Engineering class, we had to come up with a Lego piece and describe it using precise requirements, and some of mine were: the piece shall be made out of gold, and the piece shall smell like popcorn.
Today for the first time I attended a meeting at a club called YouthMappers, and what they will do is contribute to OpenStreetMap, which is mostly tracing satellite imagery, and one of them, maybe jokingly, they suggested that at the next meeting we bring the food or music of the place we’re mapping something in.
At Subway, I did meal exchange, which our meal plans provide as an alternative to paying for the meal, and it has its own very restricted menu. And when I went to checkout, I was told to get a bottled soda or water, and I got Smart Water, and I was told to get Dasani instead. This is communism.
I was walking to Subway and suddenly I came up with a cool idea. Basically at the end of every day I will write about the most interesting parts of the day so I can get better at having things to talk about in real life. And I made a Lemmy community called Personal Storytelling Practice where people can do that in public posts.
Interesting idea so looking at the getting better part, some feedback:
Your sentences were quite long and hard to understand in one read. The last part was easiest to follow. Try simpler/shorter sentences and way less commas
1 and 2 sound very neutral. This makes it less engaging for the reader, there was nothing much to relate to. The “this is communism” at the end of the Subway part was a good start. Share your thoughts and feelings more and reduce the objective descriptions.
Section one feels unfinished. What happened after? How did others react to your ideas? Why did you choose these requirements.
Last but not least: the headline made me feel like I’m in aneurysm posting. The headline doesn’t have to give away everything, try to find a common denominator and again: less commas. If you need more that 2, your sentence starts to get complicated.
Looking forward to read more about your days and give me a ping when you start mapping Germany, I can recommend a few dishes:D
Interesting idea so looking at the getting better part, some feedback:
Last but not least: the headline made me feel like I’m in aneurysm posting. The headline doesn’t have to give away everything, try to find a common denominator and again: less commas. If you need more that 2, your sentence starts to get complicated.
Looking forward to read more about your days and give me a ping when you start mapping Germany, I can recommend a few dishes:D