Trying to get an idea of how NTs see us. I know that when I see autistic people, I see someone that’s like me. Obviously, that’s not how NTs perceive us, so what do we look like to yall??
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I love this question, thanks. Would you consider reposting in AskLemmy, maybe? Or would that attract too much bullshit into this community?
I really hope more people will answer this, it’s very helpful for me. I’ve isolated myself more than usually lately, and have let my anti-social autism bits take over. So in real-life company I’m … not good company currently. It used to be better before I went into hiding for 3y, and I’m ready and would like to start reconnecting with people again. Knowing about other peoples’ experiences really supports this step. So NT person, if you are here and not sure if you should answer, please do.
At work they can sometimes be a bit overexcited to see me, I don’t mind, but can sometimes feel a bit awkward when it’s a bit more attention than I want.
Good point that I can relate. I know a therapist who is way overexcited to see me. We have great talks over philosophy, sociology or political issue in mental health. But, each time, it’s like a birthday party for this person.
Having bridged both worlds, here’s how they are viewed as described by a few people that stuck with me all these years.
The first one I “go to thought” was more than one person is “awkward.” Some even describing them “out of step, socially.” Imagine a clock that is running fast or slow, but you have mentally compensated because generally, you can adapt depending on other clues. But they are always off, and you might have to warn others ahead of time.
Another comment was how autistic personalities are in that “uncanny valley of behavior” where people notice something is off, and it can be frightening but they are not sure why. Since autism is a spectrum of behaviors, which approach depends subjectively on the viewer. Kids, for example, can target autistic kids, and because they are developing socially, will group in “us” and “not us.” Autistic kids are “not us,” and the target of bullying. A lot of teachers know autistic kids just by how they are treated by others. “You’re too weird,” was something a lot of kids might say with developing language skills. The may not know WHY they hate a certain kid, but know that they DO. And “something is wrong.”
Personally, I see autism as some kind of evolutionary response to a civilization that is growing faster that humans can compensate. In order to get actual insight, one has to be “out of step,” lest they just end up trapped in the normal static of everyday compulsion. Like any other evolutionary advance, nature is “trying out” various things. Most will lead to dead ends. A few will adapt in other ways, and some will flourish in a new niche with new types of diversity. I have no proof of this, but I think it’s more than “well, we define autism differently now.” Yes, there were always people who were “touched by fae” or whatever convention was explained back in the day, but something has really changed. I personally think this and gender fluidity is a positive sign of things to come.
I see it during moments of high stress or panic, and how they react. A lot of people in my workplace are on the spectrum.
How I handle it is usually the same with anybody. Give them space to recollect, and ask for next steps. Sometimes I break their tasks into smaller bites. Sometimes I switch their task to something with a different modality, like less mental work or more research work.
While I want to say that I treat people differently who I know are on the spectrum, I kind of don’t. Everyone needs space, some more than others.
How would you describe how they react?
Sometimes silence. They’re still processing. Like if I say something, and then silence for more than five seconds. I’ve learned with them that it’s okay to just wait for them to say something, even if it’s a full 20 seconds of silence.
Sometimes they agree but they aren’t thinking it through. Like I ask for a task but it’s vague, they repeat the task back but not asking expected followup questions. The example of “file the report”, I was expecting them to respond with, “Do you want in a PDF? Emailed? Over chat?” If they fail to say that, it tells me to stick around and be ready to support them.
Both things are behaviors everyone has. Just folks on the spectrum may take a lot longer to piece everything together, and that’s okay! The workplace is set up for that flexibility.
Delay in auditory processing. I know it can be really tricky for me. Sometimes the meaning of what somebody says to me arrives seconds after the sound. If I am too eager to get everything correctly, right after they start speaking a voice in my head goes ‘Pay attention now so you don’t miss what the other person is saying!’ (especially when people tell me their name while I try to remember also looking at their face 😅 ). The more nervous I am the stronger this will become. When somebody gets impatient or angry at me my head will just start to repeat random words and I might need a full day to even become functional again.
It’s funny to think that there’s a world full of people who don’t have that. It explains why most other people just talk in groups (?) and everybody seems to know what to say next without getting confused?
I’ve been doing freelance work since ever - because I also had no idea that some companies really could accommodate for my communication issues. So there - if you want a competent remote translator feel free to message me (but don’t phone me 😜 )
I’m not normal, but I don’t think I have autism. I might be prejudiced based on what I think autism looks like and there could be many people who don’t fit this description. I find people pleasers who go out of their way to try to smooth over every little issue to be very challenging to deal with. They create pressure to reassure them under the threat of emotional self harm in blaming themselves.
A lot of autistic people tend to stand out in ways that aren’t always easy to describe, but they’ll often have problems like hair that’s too long or not maintained. A “neckbeard” that’s never trimmed or trimmed short using a guide. They also wear dirty or damaged clothes.
I had a white autistic employee who got bullied for being a virgin and eventually got fired for attendance after calling out repeatedly because of it. Then he went on a rant and started blatantly calling the other employees the n-word without actually saying it. It created a bad association.
