I think this is pretty universal. It’s not an adhd thing, it’s more that our “accomplishments” in the system that dictates our lives are not real accomplishments. They’re expectations from some unwritten rule book of “standard capitalist life.” So, so many of them are meaningless to us, but the expectation that we get them done is palpable. You feel it from everyone: family, friends, even strangers. And when you don’t do them, you’re seen differently by those around you. That doesn’t mean anything except that they’re empty societal rituals that everyone else had to do, so they expect you to do them too.
They’re not bringing you any spiritual or personal fulfillment. They’re just getting the expectation off your back. This is not anything to do with any sort of neurodivergence. It’s literally just being a person in modern society.
I don’t know, most people are proud of getting a degree, right? I got a degree in my passion (and was still passionate about it at graduation), but haven’t ever felt pride in it. I’m currently in a difficult masters program and felt no pride about getting in. Maybe those are just also paperwork “accomplishments” for others, though.
Edit: I have felt positive about getting new jobs, but I think it was happiness, not pride. I’m proud when I beat someone at a game in a good way or am unexpectedly prepared for a situation, but I think that might be it.
I think this is pretty universal. It’s not an adhd thing, it’s more that our “accomplishments” in the system that dictates our lives are not real accomplishments. They’re expectations from some unwritten rule book of “standard capitalist life.” So, so many of them are meaningless to us, but the expectation that we get them done is palpable. You feel it from everyone: family, friends, even strangers. And when you don’t do them, you’re seen differently by those around you. That doesn’t mean anything except that they’re empty societal rituals that everyone else had to do, so they expect you to do them too.
They’re not bringing you any spiritual or personal fulfillment. They’re just getting the expectation off your back. This is not anything to do with any sort of neurodivergence. It’s literally just being a person in modern society.
Well said, I think this is spot on. There’s no ancestral circuit in our brains urging us to pay our taxes or mow our lawn, it’s just a thing we do.
I don’t know, most people are proud of getting a degree, right? I got a degree in my passion (and was still passionate about it at graduation), but haven’t ever felt pride in it. I’m currently in a difficult masters program and felt no pride about getting in. Maybe those are just also paperwork “accomplishments” for others, though.
Edit: I have felt positive about getting new jobs, but I think it was happiness, not pride. I’m proud when I beat someone at a game in a good way or am unexpectedly prepared for a situation, but I think that might be it.