To extrapolate:
People often say that one should not worry about what others think of them, but life simply doesn’t work that way. What other people think of you really does matter; point-in-fact, it can be everything depending on what field you go into.
Like say, for example, you’re a business owner and you’re recorded arguing with an angry Karen of a customer, the video’s posted online, and the internet sides with the Karen. Then, people boycott your business and you’re left without a livelihood.
Or perhaps you say something crass and get cancelled. Or simply anger or inconvenience someone with a lot of influence.
Or, even more horrifyingly, say you were assaulted and you came forward, and were ostracized and shunned by your community as a result.
How could one set up their life such that it would be impossible for people like that to rob one of their livelihood? How could one make it impossible for others to shun or ostracize them?
How could a business owner set up their business so that other people couldn’t simply shut it down on a whim in such a manner?
EDIT: I’ll just “be myself” since that’s what the majority of people in the thread want and repeat what I said to another individual:
Honestly, the way everybody is acting is really, really shameful. I am a person who made a thread and gave it a [Serious] tag because I wanted serious, literal answers to a serious problem that, given my chosen career path, will affect me at some point in my life and could potentially ruin it without good info to prepare for such a crisis beforehand. But all I’m getting is denial, mockery, condescension, lies, put-downs.
And it’s rooted in this desire to either pretend the problem is not real because you’re all secretly afraid it’ll affect you yourselves, or it’s because you know it’s real but you view it as a positive because ostracization and shunning people is an emotional cudgel you wield to silence people you don’t agree with on the internet, and answering the question honestly would require framing such actions as a negative and that would make you question the morality of your actions. And that’s not only sick, that’s just cowardly. If you believe cancelling people is morally A-O good, then at least have the temerity to threaten me with a “Don’t speak your mind and mask up” response like at least a few people were honest enough to do.
But don’t insult my intelligence by thinking you can lie to my face and pretend that something I’ve been personally watching happen to other people for over a decade is not, in fact, happening.
Now I came here for a serious answer to a serious problem that affects everyone. If you can’t participate in good faith and offer meaningful strategies to avoid or fix such problems and want to either misconstrue it as an emotional issue – much as you’ll do with what I’m saying here after the majority of you demanded I just be myself and not worry about the consequences – or outright deny it’s a real problem when it’s been real for over a decade, just don’t participate in the thread. Just go elsewhere.
Okay, I just acted like myself. Everyone happy?
What you want is something you can’t have. Stop worrying about things that don’t immediately affect you and take a fucking chance in life. You will fail. You will make mistakes and judge yourself for it. People may judge you for things beyond your control like appearance and personality quirks. Fuck em. There’s only a hand full of people who know and care for you well enough that their opinion matters, the rest of em just see a shadow on the wall. Most people don’t care about you, they care about comparing themselves to their mental image of you. Who cares what they think. Do you have like severe anxiety of something because this is hardcore catastrophizing. 99% of your fears are baseless. You aren’t the center of anyone else’s world, nobody thinks about you that much. Sorry to burst your bubble but the sooner you realize this the sooner you can start to chill a little on the worrying.
I do, because those people are either my employers or my customer base, and I need their money to survive.
If we lived in a perfect world where everyone had their own 40 acres and a mule and didn’t have to depend on other people to survive, I’d believe you. But we don’t, and as a member of society I am dependent on these people to live.
And most people are aware of this, and don’t really want to give a meaningful answer to my question because that would mean losing the power they wield over me, so the only meaningful response is to dismiss the reality of the situation or wrongly frame it as an emotional issue when it is anything but. My fear over it is extremely justified. People, including rich and powerful celebrities, have lost everything over this.
Take Sinead O’Connor, for example, who was cancelled in the 90’s for opposing the Catholic Church and trying to expose their sex abuse scandal. And she died, her reputation having never really been repaired, in the U.S. at least.
It matters. It’s real. And it’s a very, very valid concern. What other people think doesn’t just matter, it means everything if one wants to live.
I don’t agree at all. Unless you are a smelly unwashed hobo with plastic bags for clothes or an absolute batshit insane sociopathic asshole thats a blarant menace to society nobody is going to care if you are a little ugly or not wearing a dress or if you have a shitty opinion about something. this mindset of yours will 100% turn you neurotic if you aren’t already. Worrying at the level you are doing is simply not mentally healthy. May you find some inner peace my fellow human being.
Okay. You win the argument. I hope that makes you feel better, and more importantly not angry at or inconvenienced by me in any way.
We’re going to find you and we’re going to cancel you. You will not be forgiven. /s