Oh, this is what drives my motivation, what I wake up for every day, what gives me reason to exist.

I think the evolution of toiletry hygiene should go like this:

• Clean with paper
• Clean with a cup of water and your hands ✋, preferably the right hand with which you shake hands later 🤝 Save yourself some seasoned poo under your nails that you can chew on later.
• Clean with a water stream (secondary bidet or nozzle)
• Clean with an automatic toilet seat. Let AI analyze the status of your anus and do the cleaning.
• Plug and play suction tube. Cleaning not necessary.

Jokes aside, the thing that boggles my mind over and over again is that here in Germany people are not aware of present technologies that are evidently cleaner and more comfortable.

They are building new houses. They are building new toilets. They are hiding the toilet and water plumbing behind walls. They think they fancy by doing this. They are essentially taking away their option to install a bidet seat for life. They don’t realize their mistake. This is one criteria for me when looking for new housing. I don’t want to go back to dirty cave age. I want to live in the future! I want to feel clean. I want my cheeks to not stick to each other.

The worst thing is that this is a no-go topic to talk about. I brought this topic into my family by talking funny language. I’m happy that at least my stepdad took it up and now uses a happypo brush-bottle. They, too, hid their plumbing behind walls in their just-“renovated” bathroom. I can talk to him about it. He acts like this was always his idea, but well, at least there’s one more person on our side.

I wonder if we will first get to unified species space age with dirty anuses or whether we first get to collectively accept this “new” technology.