No, I will make it EVEN BETTER:

From now on the week days shall be known as:

• Migrant blaming Monday

• Trump Tuesday

• Wanker Wednesday

• Trans shaming Thursday

• Fascist Friday

• Sex offender Saturday

• SS Sunday

Furthermore, my team will develop official clients so we can block all the other ones in the future (who needs those anyways).

We will block access from the web as well through anonymous accounts.

We managed to get some ad revenue partners on board so you can watch your favourite ads to the content you’ll get delivered through our newest and most innovative algorithm that’ll rank posts from our greatest supporters at the very top even tho you have already seen them dozens of times.

Oh, and btw: we are releasing subscription models offering you perks like:

• Random earrapes (who doesn’t like these)

• Even worse UI

• Actually getting content

• Having less money

• Getting preferred by the algorithm

• Feeling like your worthless life has an actual meaning

• A customized handjob from our team <3

Oh, and free accounts have the downsides of being rate limited to 5 posts a day, 1 bit of text when commenting or posting and a resolution of 16x16 pixels for images.

Want to work for us? - No problem. Our employees have the luxury of having their own toilet cubicle where they can eat, work, shit, work, work even more, sleep, work, and repeat…

We already replaced the content management team with Blind AL - saved us ten dollars!

Matt Damon is in, are urine?