Background+rant: I’m in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I’m not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to “grow up and leave the nest”.
Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I’m independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.
Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I’m living at home, like I’m admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I’m planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can’t help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.
Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I’m interested in seeing what others have to say.
It’s worth noting that the stigma is very much a cultural thing. There are cultures where it’s very normal for the kids to stay with the parents, even after they get married, with multiple generations under one roof.
You should 100% do what makes you and your family happy. If things change, you can make changes.
yeah my parents would be pretty upset if I left them unless demanded by job or something
Good thing is that them being upset doesn’t stop you from moving out if it’s better for you.
Do you do your own laundry?
We do all the rounds together since it’s easier. My dad does handle most things which I guess may contribute to some of my independence worrying…
My biggest concern with someone who doesn’t get a stage of living alone/with roommates you’re not dating is their ability to cook/clean well. If I were you, I’d make sure I was capable of doing all the jobs and taking over at least enough to pull my own weight, though if your parents don’t want financial compensation, extra chores would be nice
The idea of being “too old to live with parents” is a pretty recent phenomenon.
Multi-generational households were the standard for centuries. There’s a benefit, I think, for having parents, grandparents, and children in the house.
The children have the opportunity to learn from the grandparents.
The grandparents have the opportunity to help the parents by caring for the children.
The parents have the opportunity to assist the grandparents.
That being said, you couldn’t PAY me to live with my mother. ;)
opportunity
You keep using that word.
If you get on well with your parents and aren’t planning to start a family of your own any time soon, I see zero downside.
