Sorry for another “Is this autism or normal human behavior?” Post.
There’s a long story as to why I am experiencing this again but it’s not really any more relevant then the title of this post.
For older folk it’s like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa, out of pity, give Ralf Wiggim a valentines day card and he immediately starts invisioning a future with her as his romantic parter.
I’ve identified I have this same trait and I hate it. Looking back I’ve totally made people who had been nothing but kind to me uncomfortable and shut me out because of this.
Now knowing that I am doing this is at least making me a little more in control and hopfully less weird. But now I need to stop and asses every interaction I have which is itself awkward.
When I imagine Ralph, I see an outsider who is avoided by the other children and ignored by the teachers, with a loving but somehow helpless father. …being lonely , not being part of the group, not understanding the rules of the world around him.
I think it has to do with the need for attention and closeness. When you lack it, you turn to the person who has already fulfilled this need for you. It’s hard to live with unfulfilled needs that you can’t fulfill yourself. I guess the key is to learn how to find a relationship where your feelings are reciprocated (and to find out when they are not). I know that feeling and I don’t have a solution.
I don’t know whether this is a characteristic that is more prevalent in autistic people.