Cancer
(June 21 to July 22):

Steer clear of shadowy figures who threaten you with knives, guns, or other weapons—they may intend to do you bodily harm.

  • Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io
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    4 days ago

    I’m so glad I read this post. I’m def. following this advice. I’m quitting my nighttime knife club, gun club, club club, and explosives club. That really opens up my calendar.

  • caesaravgvstvs
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    4 days ago

    Had to look up CEO birthdays to make sure it was about what I thought it was

  • MarcomachtKuchen
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    4 days ago

    Sweet, I’m glad this does not hinder my own nighttime activities where I’m threatening strangers with knifes, guns or other weapons.

    • Nougat@fedia.io
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      4 days ago

      … does not hinder …

      It does hinder, by making your activities more difficult by one-twelfth.

  • angrystego@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Read it as horrorscope and thought cancer was the illness. Now I wonder what the other horrorscope signs would be… scorpio sting, virginity lost to rape, an evil twin following you, getting the st. Sebastian treatment, piranhas…