This will be my first Christmas without her. I’ve already had our first anniversary (23rd) and her first birthday (44th), and now Christmas, New Year (which we always spent together) and my birthday.
The problem with this diagram – with this theory – is that it assumes the outer circle can grow. That it is not moored, permanently, to the inner circle.
This is the first thanksgiving without my mom. I hate that all I really can think about when thinking about her, is what she must have felt like right before she died. And guilt for not being there, but also how the last time I ever talked to her was in anger.