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He’ll quite possibly be the first Saint to have the porn stash on his hard drive or phone thoroughly reviewed and analyzed by theology students.
Soon hundreds of churches will claim to have a genuine fragment of his fidget spinner.
And be cured of diseases after reading his old Myspace account
Behold this sacred relic! It’s his old samsung S5!
Turns out 700 years later it was fraud sold to them by a traveling grifter, as every monestary in the area has the same samgung S5.
I took a miraculously big shit while reading this that almost killed me. Did I come close?
