Meme transcription: A table comparing the steps to start a game ‘then’ vs. ‘now’.
Content of the “Then” column:
- Double-click GAME.exe
- Play game
Content of the “Now” column:
- Launch Steam
-
Steam updates
-
Steam opens
- Close Steam’s ad window
- Select Game
-
Game launcher starts
-
Game launcher launches Game launcher updater
- Yes
- Yes
- Yes
- Ok
-
Would you like to sign up for our newsletter?
- No
-
Our EULAs have changed. Please review them before continuing
- Scroll
- Scroll
- Scroll
- Scroll
- Yes
- Yes
- Yes, sell my soul
- Start game
- Skip vendor intro
- Skip vendor intro #2
- Skip vendor intro #3
- Sit through nVidia The way it’s meant to be played
- Skip opening cutscene
-
Main menu opens
-
Would you like to connect your Steam account to account?
- No
- Press play.
- Play game.
Absolute bullshit, lol. Nowadays you can boot your PC, launch Steam and start into your game while 20+ years ago you were still looking for the damn CD.
And don’t get me started with game updates, you had to do them MANUALLY. Go to the developer website, look at a download page, then you get offered updates: 1.0.1a, 1.0.1b, 1.0.2, 1.0.2b, 1.0.3, 1.1.0, 1.2.0, 1.2.1abc, …
For smaller updates you had to install them in order, so you download 1.0.1a, install it, then download 1.0.1b, install it, then download… if you are lucky the bigger updates like 1.1.0 or 1.2.0 could be directly installed without any in-between steps.
Oh and installing games? World of Warcraft had 4 CDs and if you bought it with Burning Crusade you had to use 8 CDs in total for installation! And the install took ages too.
And during the installation you had to type in a cd key, which took longer than all your popups you’re describing together.
I’ve been mostly playing on PC for the last 27 years, what we have today, even if some stuff is annoying, is 100 times better than how it was back then.
Somebody clearly doesn’t remember boot disks and configuring your soundblaster hardware interrupt number.
something changed
Pop up window minimizes game: do you want to allow this program to communicate on private and/or public networks?
The funnest part was when the popup didn’t minimize the game and you were wondering WHY THE FUCK MULTIPLAYER didn’t work until you gave up and saw the firewall window.
i’m tired of software constantly needing to download fucking updates for every little fucking thing. you can’t just use sEcUrIty as an excuse to make things 2000x more annoying
It would go a long way to provide a changelog so we could appreciate whatever work went into the update. Looking at you, steam.
For most games, including ones on Steam this is what I do.
Being up program launcher with key combination.
Start typing name of game, hit enter.
Then if Steam is not open Steam launches,. Game launches.Get yourself a launcher program. Having to bring up Steam and search a library of dozens of games seems maddening when you could just type a few letters.
So I install a launcher that launches steam to launch the game launcher?
Depends on the game, factorio is available both on steam and as a direct download (in fact, devs recommend purchasing on their site and transferring to steam if you want) and you can just click the factorio executable to start the game. Now KSP2? That’s the second thing by far
Factorio is the shining example of doing things right in the gaming industry, IMHO.
I don’t know what time in the past you compare the present to, but my current PC boots quicker into Windows, starts up Steam, and launches a 70 Gigabyte game than a 286 could count its two Megabytes of RAM on POST.
To “double-click an .exe file” one had to manually launch DOSShell or Windows, because else one would have to traverse into the game’s directory (by heart). But launching a game via Windows would often leave the machine with too few resources to run the game.
Did I mention the constant reboots to switch RAM and driver configurations because not every game would just run? The hassle to setup sound cards? Having to have the game disks ready all the time?
I hate that this is so accurate
From very recent memory, unfortunately.
I know what you mean, but who are this “double click” and “exe” guys?
- Press
RUN/STOP
andSHIFT
. -
PRESS PLAY ON TAPE
- Press
PLAY
on tape. -
OK
SEARCHING
FOUND Ultimate Game II - Take walk with the dog.
- Play game.
Datasette was so fricking slow…
Thanks for fastloader
Commodore 64?
Yes indeed. It would also work (at least similarly) for the VIC-20 and other Commodore computers 🧑🏫
Judging from your username, you must have had very old hardware when you were young.
Or … 99 has a more uncommon meaning for me 🤓
(in reality the hardware in question was brand new hottest stuff when I was young)
Ok, gramps it’s tile for your nap.
- Press
The enshitification of everything.
I hate this, above Steam client is slow as hell (GOG isn’t much better). But you can hack it in most games to start the game clicking in the Icon. Look at the properties of the games in the folder, there is usually a game launcher, it is this one whose icon appears when this game is installed, it is this one that launches Steam (or GOG), but apart from that there is usually the original executable (look also in the subfolders, mostly in bin) which directly launches the game without Steam or GOG.
If your steam client is slow. Try disabling hardware acceleration. Worked wonders for me. Steam went from being slow to super responsive.
Gotta add a few hours of fiddling with your AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS to free up memory to the “Gaming Then” column.
Install with GOG a single time. Be able to archieve old versions in case gameplay changes.
wine ./bin/x64/Cyberpunk2077.exe
Done.