• Einar@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    What does “out of my league” even mean?

    The concept of someone being “out of my league” is a myth. We really should stop putting people in these categories and instead see everyone as an equal challenge. By labeling someone as “out of my league,” I am limiting myself and degrading the people who I think are “in my league.” It’s better to focus on people we’re genuinely interested in and not place them on such a high pedestal that they feel they need to be worshipped. Rather place them high enough to think they are prized. The people we date are the ones who we think are great, and we believe they could make us great too.

    I feel we should remember that no one is out of anyone’s league. We should rather focus our attention on a person we’re genuinely interested in and challenge ourselves.

    You never know what might happen until you try.

      • silly goose meekah@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I have a bunch of women as friends and many of them say the same: A guy can only be average looking to them but say something really smart or nice or funny, and all of a sudden everything about him is beautiful.

        Sure there are some people who really got dealt a bad hand when playing poker for their face but there’s definitely much more to attraction than just physical appearance.

      • flubo@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        You seriously shouldnt. Of course it matters whether people feel physically attracted to someonee… But attractiveness is not the same as beauty. I noticed that a big push for being attractive is a high self confidence. I personally also get attracted when someone speaks really passionate about something.

    • Littleborat@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      About the pedestal thing: if you look closely you will most likely see many things that are not perfect about that person be it looks or otherwise. I have put people on pedestals that were neither really good looking, nor good people, they just seemed like that superficially.

  • paddirn@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Don’t girls like guys who can make them laugh?

    Not that I would know what girls actually like.

  • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    1 year ago

    When I met my wife, she was massively overweight, no job no money, and because of crippling depression it was extremely hard for her to get the motivation to do things she actually enjoys, let alone date. Of course, her being a woman, I believe she was judged especially harshly for her physical appearance. People had the gall to tell me I was making a mistake. Someone like you can do so much better. Years of working through her insecurities as the first step to getting to a healthier place in body and mind. Sometimes she struggled being there for me because she was hardly there for herself.

    What I’m saying is sometimes you don’t know what you want. I don’t really believe in leagues. I believe in finding someone who makes you happy. And when you’re happy, you stop caring what other people think.

  • AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    It’s totally possible to be the one who ends up with her. But only after she’s had loads of fun with the other guys tho.

  • SternburgExport@feddit.de
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    1 year ago

    Man this post including the comment section is not passing the vibe check. Really reminds me of a certain community…