Image: 3 panels of an interaction between a vulnerable child and understanding adult.

1st panel of teary-eyed child looking up: It’s going to take me a long time with every single person here to be able to maintain eye contact.

2nd panel of adult looking at child with empathy: It’s okay. We wont take it personal. Our eyes will be here while you take your time.

3rd panel of adult hugging child: People and places like this really exist?

Eye contact is intimate! lol 🫣

  • idiomaddict@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    15 hours ago

    I fucking LOVE dancing! I do contra, which is a very spinny partner dance (that means eye contact is useful against vertigo, so it’s harder for you and your partner if you don’t make it). My first time, they told us about the ear trick, which is just looking at their ear, to avoid discomfort while still providing a balance point.

    Contra also got me more comfortable with physical touch from strangers, because it’s got very firm rules about how and when to touch, so there were no surprises. I 100% hyper focused on it, and people were only excited that a young person was showing so much interest. They also have a long history of gender neutral dances :)

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeOPMEnglish
      2·
      7 hours ago

      I checked it out on Wikipedia, and it looks like a cool renaissance-type of dance. Awesome!

      I had a similar experience with salsa. I had to get comfortable touching strangers and navigating that level of physical intimacy without it meaning relationship intimacy. It was a bit confusing at first, so I copied the people around me and probably asked some odd questions here and there when it came to that. “So it’s okay if we touch them there? If anyone feels uncomfortable with being touched there, please let me know. I will not be offended at all.” 🤦 Oopsies!

      I know what you mean about getting dizzy. All those spins add up while you have to stay balanced, mentally prepare the next move, and be cognizant of your partner’s body all at the same time. It’s a lot to manage in real time. I’ve never heard about the ear trick, but that’s a good one. When dancing with strangers, I often look around the room or down. That means I look at their shirt sometimes, then realized it looks like I might be looking at their breast, so I’ve been working on cutting that out. I’ve learned a trick where I can disconnect my eyes if I count the beat and pay attention to my body. I am going to try the ear trick tho.

      Congrats on finding an enjoyable social hobby you enjoy! And I’m happy that it seems like the group you found in accepting and welcoming.