- cross-posted to:
- 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- cross-posted to:
- 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
the people I know don’t listen and often hear the opposite of what I say. That’s why I have to repeat myself a lot.
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I’ve been diagnosed with Asperger’s.
I’m constantly astounded that people on the spectrum assume that they’re absolutely, 100% right, and that the problem is always everyone else. If I’m saying something, and no one around me is understanding what I’m saying, then the problem is clearly not everyone else. The very clear, and obvious problem is that I’m not communicating clearly -or- effectively.
More often than not, I find that I’ve omitted something that seems blindingly, patently obvious to me, but no one else was aware of because I entirely failed to communicate it.
This is a hallmark of being on the spectrum; people think that because they see things one way, everyone else must be able to see the same thing.
My SO frequently includes me in conversations that they’ve already started in their head, and I have to remind them that I have zero context for what they just said.
Is this a thing? I feel like I often have to repeat my very clear and simple words and even then people remember them differently than I do? I thought I was just insane
- Say what you actually mean.
- Mean what you actually say.
For some reason those 2 rules are the OPPOSITE of how normals’ culture wires people to work.
Normals’ rules are:
- Don’t say what you mean.
- Say what you don’t mean.
It’s abuse, & needlessly exhausting.
Gaslighting is just an exponential-amplification of normal-dishonesty.
_ /\ _
Stereotyping and otherising “normals” is some next-level tribalism.
You say “relationship”, I hear “birthday”.
You say “practical”, I hear “eager”
You say “plan”, I’m not paying attention to what you said but will respond to you as if you asked a question about what I suddenly want to talk about and expect you to follow along rather than expecting an answer or steering us back on track
yep.
Every time you’re asked to repeat yourself, use different words which mean the same thing. Saying the same thing over and over and expecting to get a different response is useless and frustrating.
I do. I’ve conveyed the same information in so many different fucking ways and they still don’t get it.
Then one of them finally figures it out and explains it to everyone else the exact same way I first explained it and now they all get it.
I just fuckin avoid people now🤷♂️
Oh god I hate this, I’m afraid of people misunderstanding me especially when it comes to discussing sensitive or controversial topics
I avoid sooo many topics out of fear that people will not only misunderstand me, but then make permanent judgements of my character and even punish me. Like, I’m not allowed to say that sometimes my dog drives me so insane that I wish I never got her in the moment because that would make me a terrible dog owner and a horrible person. Yeah right! All I’m saying is that I have thought that at times. I haven’t beaten or neglected her. I’m not planning on dropping her off at the dog pound. I’m just being honest with a thought I had. A lot of people have even thought that about their own human kids.
When it comes to cis-women, I hold back a lot because they often think I’m trying to hit on them. Apparently, sharing an interest or wanting to hear them talk about their interest is considered flirting to NTs. Meanwhile, I’m just treating them the same way I would like to be treated. It would make my day if someone, regardless of gender, wanted to hear me talk about the Golden Age of Piracy. I would not think they’re trying to get in my pants because that’s not a romantic or sexy topic, just like hearing about your unhealthy eating habits isn’t romantic or sexy, Karen! And asking if you’re okay when you’re clearly distraught doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you either. I’m only trying to be nice.
So autism and depression have a lot in common as I gather.
Autistic people are more likely to be depressed just because life is harder being autistic. We’re often overwhelmed, insulted, bullied, misunderstood, and lonely.
